fake smiles
one day you’ll come back here.
One day you’ll say:
“how’s it going babe?” and i’ll smile
I’ll say it’s great
you’ll hear all about my boyfriend
while you dream about my best friend and i’ll know.
deep down i’m not the one for you.
but you’re so persistent and insistent.
you say grin and bare it, jess
but i won’t take this anymore.
you say you know i love you, girl
but i won’t listen to you lying
you’re laying there beside an empty space
an undented pillow and you’re telling me you love me
that you want me.
and i dont’ know what to say.
but there’s this place deep inside of me
somewhere i’m really angry
about this. about you. about my stupid insecurities
the sky is so fucking beautiful sometimes
i cry. all alone.
at least i’m not with you.