if it makes you feel beautiful
she said, she said.
‘even though in my head
i’m dying.
i can’t help but cry when you’re crying.’
she said, she said.
‘can’t you see it’s over.’
you look back at her.
she averts her eyes to the door.
you say ‘i want nothing more than to see you happy
and if it makes you feel so beautiful.
to not have me on your arm.
then go ahead and take your freedom.
i want nothing more than to see you happy.’
and she started to cry again.
she says ‘i want nothing more than to be
with my favorite girl in the world.
but it’s not working out
no this is not what loves about.’
she said, she said.
but if it makes her feel beautiful.
to be crying all the time.
and if she finds comfort in the loneliness
than this is what she should do.
oh maybe it’s not rational.
but neither was being with you.
she said ‘you’re irrational when you’re angry.
and that’s why i just can’t stay.’
she said ‘you’re so competitive.’
she says ‘I could’ve never loved anyone so much.’
and you say ‘then why do you have to go?’
is it not enough that she’s already crying?
is it not enough that she’s craving to die.
and all you do is ask her ‘why?’
can’t you see the lacerations on her arm?
she’s in love with herself again.
she’s gotta love herself again.
until she does she can’t love you.
wasn’t it you that told her that?
and if she doesn’t leave you now,
then when?