if you're breaking

when you close your eyes i feel little bursts of electricity that dance across my nervous system and i wonder if behind your closed eyes you can see pictures of me. or if you’d even want to. i’ll admit that i can’t convince you of my feelings because reality is such a hard thing to be sure of. sometimes love is just a game and we sit all alone on our abandoned beaches and hold our own hands waiting for the tide to come and then it’s there and our feet are wet so we run from it. but it was what we wanted the whole time. if you want me to walk away. i’ll turn my head (teary, of course) and wish that i could make you feel the same way too.. you could put me in a box and throw me out into that ocean so that i could drown in the salt from my own tears. and i would understand i suppose. a proactive reaction to pain that may never occur..

i want to collapse into fits of giggles when i think about you. and sometimes i do. you’re name looks good on paper — like communism. i hope you’re not imperically denied.

• Category: Prose