sensation
I can feel the burning,
it’s crawling, itching, stinging
I thought this wanting was waning
but i’m still craving the feeling
of cool metal blades
creating pain that’s like ice
it’s numbing, rushing, soothing.
the flag hangs at half mast
this is tragedy
something about self-confidence
an addiction to sensation
finally, i’m in control
but if this is about control
why does it control me?
it’s falling, flying, dreaming.
I don’t want a grip
or handle on thigns
I don’t want to die
or prove my existence
I don’t want to.
or maybe I do.
It makes me numb.