shin splint

i love you
those words,
in your handwriting
remind me we’re just friends

and when we’re alone
floors & floors of alone
i want to tell you
–hey, i want you

the brick walls are so many layers
stories which my concrete surrounds
but behind these faces
its just me

me, who was once soft and liquid
but is now hard,
is now dry and porous
(you make me soft again)

this pain, which
is not really pain,
its unbearable & yet
preventable, if i’d just say it

while i nonchalantly
hide it all from you, subtle
reasons to see you but, i told him
“i think i want her too”