you’re alive
i don’t know if i should hold you
because i’m so dirty these days i’d smudge on your skin
our bodies aren’t touching
but our bodies were always touching
and this is where i really feel seperate from you
but i had to see your face and you looked great
but i didn’t tell you.
madeline, you were pretty yesterday
and always.
while i’m wondering about touching you
i know that just one touch from you
will send me crashing to my feet
with tears falling from both eyes
and washing blood and dirt from the wounds i’ve created
both for you and for me
then i get my touch on my arm
and i’ll forever remember how you felt:
you’re piercing.
the feeling of your finger against my skin that way
and i’m a puddle, no there are puddles at the ground
where tears fell from my eyes and flooded your bed
so you hold me, you’re alive and your heart is beating
my heart is too but the sobs drown out all the sounds
and for the first time in so long:
i’m alive too.