gristle

cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh
spit out your name again, its been so long
and you don’t realize you’re not the one
(on the tip of my tongue) you melt
like ch-ch-ch-chocolate and you’re forgotten
before even reaching my stomach
where i could never stomach you
after all the hell you’ve put me through.

you are virus,
i am paralyzed.
but from this cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh
coccoon i break free,
from you.

i started smoking again, today
to remember all of the cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh
creative ways you tried to sooth me
to cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh comfort me
so that you could only watch me die,
i couldn’t say that you were a mistake, but
my dear you could be

i quit smoking again, today
put the cigarette out on my arm
and the stinging ash burns less than you did
the tears in my eyes fall onto my face
but its from nicotine irritation
which is different from emotion
but living is just a cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh
chemical to you

• Category: Poetry