so this is the new year?

lots of things felt weird today. it feels weird that i graduate from high school this year. i’ve been waiting for this year forever you know. and its like it actually has some significance..
its weird that when i move away for college it will probably be the last time i live in this city. i thought of that today. it isn’t like i’m just leaving for a while.. its not in my plans at all to move back. ever. how crazy does that sound? yikes. oh well though i guess. change is for the best.
new years eve was spent with lacey/ali/carolin/alisha and lacey’s family and one of her brothers’ friends. it was fun. we watched most of playing by heart, watched the ball drop, drank sparkling cider, and played cranium. not in that order. it was nice to talk and the food was amazing.. drew is the rockinest cook around. mmmm. tonight was kind of like july 4. it was just nice to be with my friends. and to show that we can have a good time without alcohol. i love it when our plans are great and fall together in the course of a few minutes the day of a holiday. i wouldn’t have changed anything about tonight.
thomas called from his bible-festival today. i was kinda out of it at the time so we didn’t get to talk much but he said he’d probably call back. and then he didn’t. and he didn’t call this morning. and i don’t know. i didn’t really expect him to call much or at all this week but he keeps saying he will and then not calling and it worries me.. and then i get upset. and i hate that. growl. especially tonight. cos it isn’t a safe night to be on the roads and its never a safe night to be in johnson county and what if he was in a terrible accident or something? and i won’t sleep right either because of it. and it sucks. i hate it when people do this.
jarred also called and said that he wanted someone to party with. he told me he’d bring me a thimble of whiskey to get me drunk :-/ haha. asshole.
i hung out with jarod yesterday (other jarod.) and we watched the movie kids. that movie is messed up. seriously. it was really good though. it was just crazy.. yikes. it was nice to spend time with him though. i’d forgotten how fun and natural being around him feels. and its nice to have someone i can just talk to about the stupid things i get all upset about and he understands… oh.. and he took my scarf that i was using as a belt and tied me up on his bed. hehehe. it was fabulous.. i asked “hows it look?” and he said “like you’re tied up on my bed.” heheh. good fun.
battle of the bands was also alright. i talked to janelle and brittany and that was less awkward that i thought it might be.. i don’t know. janelle is a pretty cool girl and i don’t think i’ve ever had a problem with her.. other than my own jealousy. and i’ve been over that for quite some time. i got to talk to alissa too and that was fun. we talked about books! and we’re both reading Vonnegut right now. r0ck.
i need sleep. really badly.

• Category: Journal