rock show
i went to see another roadside attraction play at the boobie trap with schemata (i think) and the velvet hammers. lol. i can’t believe i went to another show at the boobie trap and saw the velvet hammers. argh. although i think i should probably give greg and tim a lot more credit than i do. their band is good at all their instruments and they sound really well together, its just not particularly my style of music. idk. ARA was really good though. Chad sounded a lot better than he had on the demo… maybe it was just a bad voice day for him or whatever but he definitely rocked last night. even jarred said that it was good. and jarred doesn’t like much music. i was out till about two (the show then denny’s) and i’m pretty sure i’m going to smell like cigarettes and alcohol for the rest of the weekend. dammit. i feel pretty dehydrated too. i swear i have to have water like minute that i wake up or i feel like shit all day. it really blows.
i’ve been cyclicly depressed lately. most of yesterday morning i felt like slicing my wrists (i mean that in the non-threatening sense of the phrase) in the back room. maybe its because i’ve been avoiding everyone at work lately because i honestly feel stupider at that job. all i do is alphabetize. i mean, god, what did i do to deserve this? i thought i was smart. no. i’m working with a group of wonderful people but my mind is absolutely never exercised. augh! i have to start debates in my head with myself. yesterday i was filing returned envelopes and trying to hammer out a mental solution to the problems in israel&palestine. just because i couldn’t tolerate my feeling stupid anymore. but the moral of the story is that i left work at lunch near the crying point. just cos i was really sad, and i like my job for the most part. i mean its really good money and it really isn’t that bad… but i just wasn’t having a good day yesterday. so i got in the car and i called jarod cos i’d invited him to the ara show with me but he said that he didn’t feel like going and never called to indicate otherwise. then, chik-fil-a sounded yummy so i went to the mall for lunch and parked next to sarah’s car so i hunted for her in the mall. she’s working at hot topic now so i got to talk to her for a little while then i got food and by the time i returned to work i was feeling chipper. after work i called jarred to see about the show and he said he’d go so i went to my guitar lesson then came home and finished reading welcme to the monkey house (vonnegut, i loved it) and then we got pizza for me and saw the show. it was a nice time. jarred’s fun because we can keep each other entertained for long periods of time. there’s always tons of good conversation, not to mention that “intellectual stimulation” i’ve felt i’ve lacked for a while.
amelia spoke to me the other night. she called at like 1 am on tuesday, perhaps because that’s when she thought to but i think it has more to do with her knowing she’d get my answering machine. so i got her message and saved it so i could analyze it later.. i was going to call her back last night but she was online wednesday so we talked for a little while and i think things will be alright. sometimes its really hard to judge her. (read: she’s impossible to read). but i think that her “we can still be friends” will be true and probably for the best. i’m going to mail that 10 page letter i wrote her today. so she should get it tomorrow or monday and then all she has to do is read it. she promises she will. (not the first promise she will have broken in the event that she does).
i need a shower. i smell like beer and cigarettes (camel filters). i have to enroll in college today. i’m seeing madeline after enrollment. i owe it to the people giving the scholarships to show up smelling like an upstanding citizen. the problem: i think we’re out of shampoo. oh well, a little conditioner only never hurt anyone. aside from the fact that my hair is grossly greasy i’ll be fine.
ps. i want pj harvey’s new album.