write-in
i meant to blog about this too. but its serious. so i suppose it needs an additional entry. i watched real world all day today. well i went out with josh for a few hours but i watched a LOT of real world. and the last episode i saw before leaving for work was the one where frankie cuts herself. and i realized when i saw what it was doing to Julie (maybe her name isn’t julie.. but whatever). i don’t think i ever thought about what it did to other people when i did it. i guess that’s obvious because when i thought about that i didn’t do it. it’s really hard for me to figure out. because i know what it does to me when i’m close to other people who do it. i know i’ve grown up a whole lot over the past few years. in the past year i’ve only acted on the desire to harm myself one time. unfortunately, that was only a few weeks ago. regardless, i was able to realize that what i was doing was stupid and only going to make me angrier with myself later so i stopped before i did any damage. and i was still really angry with myself later.
i suppose this entry is meant to be both an apology to those i hurt when i was hurting myself as well as a thank you for those who supported me and understood how difficult it was to take control of my own situation. thus, i’m sorry; thank you.