one skinnee j
i have a huge crush on j. except i’m pretty sure its not a crush cos i hate that word. i also think that its completely requited. just judging by what he says in his livejournal and stuff esp. after i see him. i don’t really know what to do about it. he’s supposed to be my mentor for fucks sake. but i just want him so badly. and he’s so beautiful. and i think we’d both gain so much. the sexual tension hasn’t reached the point yet that i can’t ignore it but it gets a little bit harder every time we speak and a lot harder every time we see each other. he’s so beautiful and amazing and wonderful and i wish i could just post this out in the open just to see how he’d take it. but instead: we, of course, dance around in our poetry pretending that the meaning isn’t granted, hoping that the other will just come right out and say it. but instead: we hide our meanings in source tags and codes.