everybody knows
it turns out that amelia is now dating this girl sarah. i don’t know how i feel about it. its not like amelia and i were ever serious or even at the point where you could call it dating but i’m a little hurt. to be honest. maybe this is a good thing. cos i think i needed her to do something that i could hold against her. so i’m feeling alright. and i’m pretty sure we’re still going out for coffee tomorrow. cos we were doing that just as friends and so we can still do things just as friends.. right? yes. exactly.
i guess that’s it. there’s so much i want to blog about just on life in general. but i’ll get to that when i get done with all of this shit that i have to do. fuck.
smash static: so whats new in your life these days/
amelia: french
smash static: that’s not new =p
amelia: what do you mean?
smash static: i don’t know. i was just wondering if you were up to anything extraordinary.
amelia: you mean sarah?
smash static: i guess that’s what i’m passive agressively attempting to get at, yes.
amelia: ya… what do you want to know?
smash static: are you dating her?
amelia: yes
smash static: does that mean that what you said this summer about why we couldn’t date was untrue?
amelia: no, not necessarily
smash static: can you explain to me how both can be true? because i can justify it to myself.
amelia: its different jess… this has built up a lot of trust… and moves very slow.
smash static: how long have you been talking?
smash static: like as in known each other
amelia: 5 months
amelia: as in known eachother
smash static: yeah.
smash static: i’m not angry at you. i take it kind of personally but that rational side of my brain says that i shouldn’t. so i’m just going to be happy for you. because we all need to have someone who gives us an element of comfort. and you’ve always been a good friend.
amelia: this more dating type… not as long, maybe 3 months… but not completely exclusive
amelia: its nothing against you jess, or anything we had. our relationship just didnt develope the right way and part of that is because i didnt understand what i needed until i dated you
smash static: i’m glad you know what you need now and that you’ve found someone who can give that to you.
smash static: i just wish my emotions weren’t what was at stake.
amelia: i dont mean to hurt you jess
smash static: i know you don’t. which is what makes it alright. i don’t want what you need out of a relationship. so i can’t think its not fair that you don’t have a relationship with me.
amelia: i know… but i know this does still hurt you… im not stupid. but jess i think that we are just two different people relationship wise
amelia: i dont knwo
amelia: i feel like an ass
smash static: i think, or know, that you’re right.
amelia: we are good as friends. i like hanging out with you
smash static: yeah
smash static: i’m glad i finally asked about it
amelia: im glad you did too
amelia: i wanted to tell you, it just never worked out
smash static: its okay it’s a hard thing to tell. i never break news of new girlboyfriends to exes
amelia: ya..
smash static: i gave up on my being exclusive. at least for the time being.
smash static: i have a “Kinda Boyfriend.” but we can see other people. and it works out pretty well for both of us. there’s just a no sex except with each other policy and its great.
amelia: i see
smash static: yeah he’s a poet so we get along really well
amelia: ahh i see. mines a basketball player
smash static: oooh nice
smash static: class is out see ya!