like art could save a wretch like me
i’m hungover. from friday night. because i started drinking after going out to get thai food with james at 7. so i started to drink somewhere a little after 9. and i didn’t really stop until about 7:45 the next morning (saturday). wow. so much vodka. not to mention i had to be at the peace symposium at 9:00 am. or i was meeting marcus and cara at 9 am and i wasn’t sure i was going to be sober enough to drive back to campus in time.. but i was. so that was good. then i had to be at the symposium until 9pm on saturday night so i had to ingest a fair amount of safe stimulants to keep me up for the day (really it wasn’t that many. trying to stay awake when you’ve been working off of adrenaline isn’t as hard to do as one might think).
it was by far an interesting night. but i quit drinking at least for a while. that was just way too fucking much.
on the bright sides. the peace symposium was amazing like whoa. some of the best conversation i think i’ve had in a while and it was nice to watch everything develop and watch people learn. i think that the open conversations and debate were the best parts. it was just awesome. the food wasn’t bad either. although i wans’t too hungry at lunch.. i was able to scrounge up at least some veg food for dinner there and it was catered by the brickyard barn inn. which is good too. so it was a nice event. all-in-all.
after that, marcus and joe and i were gonna go to joe’s place at WUvill but when i was getting ready to get in the shower my rbother called and he was really upset because mom got drunk last night and he hates to see her that way cos she rarely does it and so i went out there with marcus and we picked the kid up and came back to hang out in my room for a while. then we went up to marcus’ room (just marcus and i) and watched his suitemates be drunk then we went out with tyler to smoke. and tyler who was trashed already got so fucked up so we had to take him back in to puke a whole lot. ick.
so finally after those adventures, it was time for me to sleep which i did. until this morning when mom called at 6:30 to yell about how i needed to bring devon home because he destroyed her cigarettes. and iw as like “not gonna happen. its 6:30” so she called at 10 and was still angry and i told her i’d bring devon home when i had time to and then we called her at 12:30 and she’d calmed down and was just feeling depressed about last night. so that’s why she said she’s not going to drink.
and i’m not drinking now either. at least for a while. at least not to get drunk.
so i kissed steve mitchell which was great cos he was a great kisser and i’ve had a crush on him since i’ve met him but we were both drunk which was totally lame. and i don’t know what’s going on with him cos i haven’t been able to talk to him and maybe i should just go down to lola’s and kinda hope taht he shows up cos i like him a whole lot but then:
but then i kissed his brother too. later (and a lot more vodka). it sucked. i mean it didn’t suck i just wasn’t comfortable but i was drunk and my body didn’t raise any objections i suppose. i don’t really understand why it happened. and james too. and james and tim were at the same time and we all messed around and no one came and it was just like 8 hours in a hot tub to get dehydrated and dry out all of the alcohol and if i regretted things it would probably for sure be that night. though i like james too. i don’t know. i don’t know that i really want a relationship at all because they seem like a total waste of time and i just fuck them up anyway. but james could be cool to get to know. assuming things with steve are gonna suck. which really pisses me off. at the very least we could hopefully all be like “hm jess should quit drinking” and then we’ll be fine.
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on to other drunk decisions:
i messed around with marcus on tuesday but we don’t remember too much of it and now we just flirt and have fun and i think he’s a great friend. or whatever we end up being.