football sundays

my cousin is in town from dallas. and i haven’t seen him, since, like whoa. i think i was in 8th grade maybe. or maybe it was before then. its hard to tell. so i’m scheduled to go out there at 3 to see him. i’m really excited about it. its the side of the family that i think might be the black sheep. although it’s hard to tell. because that could be us just as easily. my dad’s family had 4 kids. one was gary joe who is deceased and was mentally handicapped for his entire ife. the other is my dad’s older brother ron and then his older sister june. this is june’s kid. and june can be a real brat sometimes. i don’t know how to word it. she’s all kinds of christian. which i don’t mind but then she puts emphasis on the hypocritical kind of christian. like she’ll do so much to help out her church but when it comes to simple things like being there and helping out her family she doesn’t do it. i know i only get my mom’s side of the story too… but there’s gotta be some validity to it because dad honored the june boycott for a few years. only recently have we started doing things together again. which is good. cos my cousins are really rad and i like to see them. they just both live in dallas-fort worth so i rarely get to see them. cos its not like dallas-fort worth is high on this list of places this liberal is going to visit regularly.

i talked to jarod about how i’m dating other people last night. i don’t feel that it went very well. i got home late and im-ed him when i was checking my email and he was just like “what are you doing up this late? out seeing boys i never know the truth about?” so i was just completely honest with him. and we all knew how that was going to turn out. i was all planning to tell him on friday night when i was home but then he was really upset about something amy did or did not do. so i just kinda listened to him and then let it go. when it gets down to it though, i don’t know why this is his business to be mad about. there is nothing in between he and i and he knows that. i don’t see why it makes a difference whether i go home and call someone else after he and i hang out platonically or if i don’t. and i get angry that he tells me that he wants me to be honest with him and he actually just wants a reason to blow up at me. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you about j, alright. but when i said there was nothing between he and i there wasn’t and maybe i just didn’t want to deal with the fit that was/is thrown as a result of me seeing other people. he was fine when it was madeline. and he got over nate. i don’t know what’s wrong with him. i just know that i’m not too heartbroken about his apparent lack of wishing to see me because i know that he is absolutely not the boy i started dating last january. and it makes me really sad because that kid was so kick ass.

i’m watching the chiefs who are tied with the chargers. i was like “whoa, hey, the chiefs are losing.. oh wait. this is ush’s team they’re playing…” and then i was like “eh, go chiefs!” afterall.. ush is a giants fan. and i, for one, am not.

ps, would anyone hate me if i had a bierocks? my mom made homemade bierocks today and i’m like chomping at the bit over them. she makes the absolute best bierocks in the entire world. i have yet to decide what i will do about this situation. the fact that the meat could make me sick is some consolation to my not eating it. but then it could be worth it… the devil on my shoulder points out its just one cow. and the angel is hanging on to her last wing.

• Category: Journal