the birds; the chirping

so spring break kinda kicks yr ass when suddenly you have a nine-o-clock class again and then where are you with yr day? oh wow. i was up until approx. 3:30 am with Jotto talking about old shit that we’re still bitter about, oh oh how important high school debate is in the grand scheme of things. i don’t really know why we didn’t sleep. i think its out of self hate more than anything else. grr.

the bright side is that the weather is so fucking wonderful today. i woke up kinda happy to be alive in march. and i’ll be 19 in a few days which will probably be kinda cool as well. it’s hard to say. i never had much of an affinity for 19. Though i guess i kind of did. and i always had an affinity for 17 and look where that got me. how much shit happened with i was 17? like whoa. most of it bad all of it lifeshattering, worldshaping. i suppose i’m finally what i wanted, right? grown up? nah. i guess a rather large contingent of my high school acquaintances are getting married this summer or within the next few years. its kind of scary. and i can’t believe it. who would want to marry? eegh. especially when one is so incredibly young. and people are like “well they’ve been dating for a while i guess.” and then “like a year, you know.” whoa. you have like 27 years to be married. just keep on dating and keep on loving and keep on living. that’s all. i’m not even afraid of marriage anymore. at least, not as much as i’m appalled by it. oi.

it looks like i’m going to probably go to the czech republic this summer for a few months. oh this girl is so excited.

• Category: Journal