Author: Jess

When it became clear that having a catholic wedding would mean a long gap between the wedding and the reception, a lot of people—our parents, mostly—told us that people would leave in the gap. That turned out not to be that true. Instead, we learned that people would stay during the gap and go out and have a good time… hoping we would attend. So my day started at 8:30 when I woke up and watched some Homeward Bound and did not end until 2 a.m. when I excused the last of our after party guests.

After the ceremony a good smattering of our friends and wedding party members headed to Henry T’s where we joined them. I snagged some lunch, a blue moon, and an irish car bomb and we chatted for an hour and a half or so and then headed to Kyle’s parents party for their friends. I really enjoyed Henry T’s both because the buffalo shrimp sandwich is so delicious and because it was nice to get to really socialize with our friends as that is not always a gaurantee at weddings. We got to chat about the ceremony and laugh about parts. For instance, during the ceremony Kyle was like “My knees hurt” which was a result of us having to kneel through the whole ceremony. I said “mine do too.” and then he said “oh? wait till later.” I could hardly keep from showing shock and awe on my face. 🙂 Also, the priest was Indian and his accent made “fidelity” sound a lot like “fertility.” You could imagine this would perhaps cause some giggles during the ceremony as well. So we got to giggle about that finally at Henry Ts and spend quality time with the people we care about most.

Next, we were off to Kyle’s parents’ party for their family friends. It was nice to get to meet all of them there as I didn’t run into them quite as much as I’d hoped to at the wedding reception. I got to chat with some of their friends absent Kyle and get a good idea for how his parents friends are. Largely, it was just nice to put names with faces. All of Kyle’s parents friends seem really nice though and it was good to get to meet them.

After we left there, we went to check into our hotel room which was awesome. It was huge. Like a giant main room with a flatscreen HDTV and a dining area and a kitchenette that was mostly enclosed and then a huge bedroom with a jacuzi tub and a bathroom with a shower that was gigantic and didn’t have a water catch which looks stylish. It was bad ass.

So at about 5:15 or so we showed up to the reception site and did more photos with Karl until our guests started arriving at 6. The reception went so well! From 6-6:30 we mingled with guests then we did our formal entrance into the ball room and I announced that at 7 we would start toasts.

At 7, start toasts we did. James toasted us first. He told lots of cute stories like how I put off James meeting Kyle because I was worried James would disapprove and about the time that I went to bed and Kyle and James were hanging out and Kyle was literally at a loss for words to explain how much he loved me. He told the story of the time Kyle surprised me by driving 7 hours to hang out with me for a weekend I was expecting to spend apart from him. Then Nick toasted us. He was hilarious, as expected. He ended with a jibe on me being from Kansas. After that, I stood up to do my toast and my brother interjected to say that whether my last name was “Mylast” or “hisLast” or “MyLast-HisLast” or whatever I would always be “sis” to him.  It was really sweet and totally brought me to tears.  I then said my toast which was just a really long thank you to my parents for all that they’ve done.  I also explained how I think Kyle is like both of them because he’s sensitive like my dad and a fierce protector of me like my mom.

After the toast we got going with the cake cutting which was delicious.  My aunt’s cake was absolutely beautiful.  It was white cake with chocolate icing.  It had yellow polka-dots and chocolate trim.  Then their was a grooms cake that was a sunflower.  it was beautiful.  I really can’t get over how amazing it turned out.   And it was yummy.

We let people have some time to eat the cake and then we danced.  Jack’s Mannequin’s album got leaked last week so we danced to a song from that.  I know that it seems a little depressing but I think that the lyrics are pretty special to us:

These hammers and strings
Been following me around
From a box filled garage
To the dark punk rock clubs
Of 1000 American crowds
And my friend calls me up
She says, “how have you been?”
I say, “dear I’ve been well,
Yeah the money’s coming
But I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this
Old piano, oh yeah.”
She says, “Andy, I know
That we don’t talk as much
But I still hear your ghost
In these old punk rock clubs
Come on, write me a song
Give me something to trust
Just promise you won’t let it be
The keys that you touch.”

Give me something to believe in,
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide
So I write you a lullaby
A lullaby

These hammers and strings
Been following me around
Behind passenger vans
Through the snow, dirt, and sands
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, “Andy, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I’m not crazy.
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?”

I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide

To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby,
A lullaby.

Give me something to believe in,
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide

To the speepless, this is my reply:
I’ll write you a lullaby
A lullaby, a lullaby, a lullaby

Basically, to me, it describes how I’ve felt some of the times and how Kyle takes care of me when I feel really depressed.  He makes me feel so much better. And he is so good to me.

So after our dance and chat, I danced with my dad to “My Wish”  mostly we just held each other and sobbed 🙂  My poor daddy.  He’s such a good guy and I love him so incredibly much.

After all of that, we let Clay take control and he gave us the funnest dance I have ever been to.  There were lots of times that those of us on the dance floor thought “my goodness, we are never going to get a break!” and then he’d finally let us slow down and go get more drinks or whatever.  Gracious.  It was so much fun.

At about 10:30 or 10:45, we decided we should head back to our hotel to beat the rush to our afterparty.  We got back up to our room where Nick and Chris had delivered the kegs and started partying.  Clay and Janelle were able to come along with a lot of our guests and we had a stellar time.  Again, it was nice to spend some quality time with a small group of people.

All-in-all, I think I had the most fun wedding that I’ve ever been to and Kyle agrees.  As I’ve always assumed that brides and grooms have less fun than their guests at their weddings, I’m quite happy.  We had so much fun.  We’ve also gotten a lot of compliments on how beautiful and heartfelt the ceremony was and how much fun the reception was.  Later, I’ll have photos up at pulse. And I also hope to type up the full ceremony and get that preserved.  But I won’t really have time to do that until I get caught up on the notes I missed from last week.

I figure that while I am randomly awake at 8:25 a.m. (really, I’ve been up since 7 after going to bed at 2… ugh) I should go ahead and write a recap of the wedding, especially as I still remember lots of it.

The rehearsal dinner was Friday night. Rehearsal went well with the Bearman children running amok around the church. Then the caterer severely botched their job and for some reason decided the only way to compensate was to comp the whole catering. The catering wasn’t very expensive, in relation to how catering usually goes, but I’ll just throw out there that it was a much more enjoyable meal after it was free. Plus, even if they’d just comp-ed a little, they were totally still missing the correct amount of silverware for us so it would have gone poorly. This makes me glad that I went through a national chain instead of somewhere local, even though somewhere local would’ve gotten it right in the first place. The rehearsal was really nice in general though and I enjoyed getting to spend quality time with our best friends.

Basically, I woke up at about 8:30 or 9 yesterday and went into the kitchen where I found my boutonnieres safe in the fridge. I realized the night before that I had miscounted and that I actually needed 9 instead of 8, so i put a new one together quickly and then watched some Homeward Bound with my parents. I think except for the Father-Daughter Dance, the only/most crying I did yesterday was at the end of that movie because I forgot that Shadow actually did make it back over the hill so I was just as excited as the family was to find out he was returning too.

After the movie and my shower and hair-doing, I had to cut the stems off the bouquets for the bridesmaids and myself. This was hilarious as I held the bouquet and my mom cut the stems with a pruning shear and then the dog, Maco, who is the fattest and really likes to keep things for himself picked up all the stems as they fell and carried them back to his bed. Apparently they didn’t taste good because he didn’t seem too interested in keeping them from there, but he did enjoy catching them in his mouth and such.

Mom got sort of frustrated after the flowers because my dad and brother were taking forever to get ready, largely because they took forever to wake up. I pointed out that they were taking a separate car so it really didn’t matter if they were running late, her yelling at them was only making us late. So finally we left and got to the church at about 10-till-11.

Sarah started doing my makeup which looked beautiful and even better than it had in the trial. She did a orange/peach/pink eye shadow that was just beautiful and made me all sparkly. I don’t usually wear or even like makeup so I was glad that I really loved how it turned out. Karl started his day of photos with that one and we got going. It seemed to me that when my makeup was being applied was the only real chance I had to sit all day. Partially because, after that, I got into my dress which made sitting more of a decision than it had previously been. Also, I was just busy-busy after I put my dress on.

Eventually, we all made it upstairs to do pictures. Kyle and I did see each other before the ceremony, but first we took a picture of us holding hands unable to see each other from around the corner of the church. Then, we started to see each other. I think by that point it had just been so burdensome not being able to see him and trying to avoid him. I’m really glad we got to see each other because it gave us some private time before the ceremony.

Of course, he’s more involved in the early part of the ceremony than the bride, so I also enjoyed the quality time with the bridesmaid’s in which we chatted about whether I was really ready and if I was nervous and we made several jokes about jilting. In the end though, I just new that what I wanted to do was walk down the aisle and marry Kyle, and so that is exactly what I did.

I’ll say that I think the ceremony was beautiful and we got a lot of compliments on it. It also was nice cos it lasted a full 40 minutes which is about the time I was aiming for.  I, for one, only got a little quivery during the ceremony and mostly did not cry. I thought I would cry maybe when everyone stood for me but I was just so happy to see everyone that I just got exceptionally happy. Too happy to cry, even.

The readings worked so well and the homily was absolutely beautiful. He focussed on the examples of marital love that the Bible gives, from Jacob and Rachel in Genesis, to Solomon, to Tobias in Tobit. He mentioned a prayer in Tobit that was prayed by Tobias and Sarah: “Take pity on us, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.”

I am happy we were able to personalize the ceremony so much. Kyle and I went to a lot of work to figure out what would be best in our ceremony and I think our friends appreciated what was there. For one, we had an intercession about self-determination in marriage, civilly. Also, I think people thought it was cute that we prayed for debate, and maybe more so that we prayed for topical debates in the “Depth and breadth of the resolution.” Also, the priest announced as “Jess MyLast and Kyle HisLast for the first time as partners for life.” Which was cool. I wasn’t sure if the Church would do that partners for life thing since they sort of invented the “Man and wife” part. But at the very least I wanted “husband and wife” and they saw no problem saying our first choice.

After the ceremony, we basically were busy entertaining and being entertained from 2 p.m. until 2 a.m. which is a long time to party.  But I will try to get that post up soon.  I just wanted to make sure the wedding was recorded because people tell me I will forget it.

I’m back in Topeka for the wedding now. I basically feel like I’ve just been tying ribbons on everything I see for the last day and a half.  I actually partially destroyed my back for most of last night because I was in the same position, tying bows, for most of the day.  Gracious.

I just finished pre-prepping the flowers so they’ll be ready to turn into bouquets tomorrow.  Also, when they’re made into bouquets I’ll have some fridge space to store them until it’s time for the wedding and photos.  Just experimenting with the stems, it seems that they will fairly easily tie into bouquets so I’m not that nervous about it.  They’re a great size, and they’re also brown-centered sunflowers, a fact that makes me giggly.  Woo.  So now I think I might go unearth some extra sunflowers to do centerpieces with and I need to run to the store to stock up on 3 for 12 dollar filler bouquets.  I don’t want too much filler, but I’m hoping to find some craspedia so I can add that to the boutonnieres.

Tonight I have my make-up trial with Sarah.  I sent her some pictures of what I was thinking yesterday and one of them was a commercial modeling photo from a bridal magazine and I said “this natural look, but if you could tone down the apparent anorexia, that would be great.”  When I spoke to her about it later she was reading over my message and said “Oh wow, are you sure you want the anorexia gone?  I think this is a spontaneous decision and you should think about it more.”  It made me really happy that Sarah and I are still friends after all these years.  Lol.

Tomorrow, I wake up early and start tying bouquets.  Then I go with Kyle to get his tux, or if he doesn’t make it in to get there at opening, I finish the bouquets and then I’m getting a mani/pedi from a place out north.  I’m going french manicure on my hands and blue on my toes.  As I haven’t had a pedicure in ages, I’m so excited.

And for other life updates: I started class on Tuesday after Monday’s orientation and Sunday’s meet and greet.  Daily, I grow more and more convinced that Texas Tech is absolutely the best decision for me and I’m excited for how great the program is.  Also, I’m excited for the new friends that I’m making.  Everyone in the class seems pretty nice and I’m excited to get to know people better than just superficially.  I’m somewhat nervous that I’m missing out on important social bonding for the wedding, but I’m sure I can catch up.  And it’s not like I regret having the wedding now.  If anything, it’s really nice to have a chance to head home and see my family once more before I’m really moved for good.  Besides this is not kindergarten, friendships are not based on who is there in the first week.

Oh and I did make it through the museum last week, and I’m really excited to work with the collections.

at least the book i’m reading is funny,
with creatures from planets so unknown,
and irony galore, at least the book i’m
reading is funny, and at least i
sort of understand what it’s like to be
transplanted. and i can take joy in the fact
that i had warning, more than several minutes
that the demolition of home
which once meant topeka, kansas
doesn’t mean the demolition of my planet.
there is still lubbock, texas. at least the book
i’m reading is funny because i think i would grow
tired of the non-stop sexual victims unit drama
brought to me by dvr cable and a nice new tv.
at least the book i’m reading is funny,
because the people here are too charming
and not quite quirky enough, though i love
that the used bookstore man is excited to take
banana-nut muffins from a frequent customery
because they are the kind
with so many preservatives that they
will keep for months. and i am excited to live
in a city where i have not yet pillaged
my favorite authors at the used book stores
where two tom robbins books i have not yet read
wait on a shelf at a place where i like the owner
because i suppose when you are his age,
self-preservation may be a vitamin you eat
in the form of a muffin that never goes bad.
and at least the book i’m reading is funny, or
else i may have to explore the secret world
of the asian markets’ fish deep freezes.  i
cannot begin to explain the joy of cringing
as i open not one but four mystery freezers.
i expect to find cats or boars heads.  but instead,
just piles and piles and piles of frozen eels.
some of them wrapped in wax paper but one,
just staring up at me.  as though it’s an answer
to the question “what recipe requires cooked pork blood?”
the real answer is some sort of korean food. and at least,
the book i’m reading is funny.  because this city
is like a photograph in parts, and i’m
falling in love with that but i fall too easily in love
with cities.  like a toynbee tile excited for summer
when its back warms up and by fall it is wrapped in the mortar
of a new concrete jungle, and oh this is living!
until a new jackhammer uproots it to make room
for a new sprint center.  every city is changing, and i suppose
this one for the better because now
i live in it, now, this is home,
i guess.