Even better concrete inlay rings than the one’s I previously gushed about. I like the 7-days ring at 22designstudios.com. Also, if you go to Mirca Maffi and click the “she” box and then click the fourth little box that appears on the left you also have a really effing awesome ring. PRETTY. I want to be all tied up with silver ribbons on my hands every day.
before we even picked a showtime, i figured that i should wait to check the rotten tomatoes reviews until after we’d seen the movie because rotten tomatoes always convinces me not to see movies even though i know that i basically always agree with their fresh ratings, and only agree with their rotten ratings about 50-70% of the time (which makes sense because a “Fresh” movie is a 6.0 or better on a 10.0 scale, so a lot of people would still mark the movie better than 5 and i could just be in that expanded group. i put too much thought into my movie ratings, don’t i?) of course, after we picked a showtime the rest of the internet got boring and i eventually wandered to rottentomatoes. here’s the verdict. 37%. That’s one person out of a hundred for every dress in the title of the movie plus ten. I figure, I’ve seen worse (I’ve also never disagreed with a rating below ten percent). So we go to the movie, cos i’ve already committed to seeing it.
i don’t exactly regret seeing it. But it is the first time that I’ve ever thought a rating was too high. to katherine heigl: don’t you think should stop spending the majority of the script pining over a largely underattractive guy named George. what works in grey’s anatomy doesn’t work every time… ask a doctor.
it seems that lately the only thing i want to blog openly about are my dreams. i have strange ones. i have dreams about unsolvable addictions. walking into every room to find people with pills boiled down into a substance injectable into their veins, and that is not the half of it because i cannot begin to explain the predictive dreams, waking from a sleep that was so sound to recall that sometime a few short hours before i woke my brain decided to betray me. i dream that i’m hunted like in munich for claiming that we should never have granted diplomatic recognition to israel (i don’t even believe that when i’m awake), being dipped into little alleys that all look like the route to the bathroom at my favorite mediterranean cafe in westport, grabbed by young palestinian beauties wrapped in their best hijabs, and i don’t even full understand it. i always remember waking up at some point before so i know my dreams only get bad before i wake up. it’s strange, and a nuissance.
i’m in illinois right now, which has been nice. i’m finally starting to talk about and deal with things again. sometimes i feel like my oversensitivity toward having feelings is somewhat of a burden, you know, i can’t just suck it up and move on. but sometimes i have opposite thoughts. for the last week, the only thing i’ve been able to feel is angry. i’ve been prickly around the house because my mom broke her hip a few months ago and so during the day I have to take care of her, which is fine. she’s great about being nice about everything which is quite a pleasant change, and she tries to let me have rests and things too. it’s just i felt like all week i’d just get settled doing something relaxing and then she’d need something else. and i knew the whole time that was only my perception of it. but i don’t know, i couldn’t really have real emotions about things i probably needed to explore and so it was making me kind of impossible in every area of life. i finally broke down that gate on saturday night and now i feel much, much better. i can’t even begin to explain it. i feel like i had been carrying around an extra weight and it’s gone now and i can hold my head up a little better. i feel like making eye contact again.
school starts wednesday. i’m pretty excited to be back and at my last semester of undergraduate ever. and i’m so anxious and nervous and EXCITED to start hearing back from grad schools. my life is going in a new direction and kyle is going with me and i cannot contain myself. i want to know where it is that we’re going and what it is that we’re doing and i can’t wait to start living it all out and making new memories.
last night, i dreamt that love could fix anything.
it’s weird, you know, how life is. there’s that one person who you love in a childish way and then that one person that you find and want to spend the rest of your life with and you’ll know who you are when you read this but the point is that sometimes things are fragmented and you’re not going to have anything to hang onto but the words that you wrote about me.
i am a superstitious some days and at work today there were like 4089384 reasons why i should end up at umn. i wanna go there a lot right now.
I realized earlier tonight that I have never told the story of Kyle and my technically first date. I would say that that thing we went on where we went to see Shortbus and to Jerusalem Cafe with Emily in November of last year was also a date. I would also say that the time he came to Topeka to hang out with me at the end of winter break last year was also a date. But then, it’s somewhat hard to gauge because we were both pursuing other people in addition to each other during that time and that night in St. Louis was the night we started clean. So there was a lot going on in my life that made writing down the details sort of difficult cos I was trying to protect feelings or something and I never actually wrote them down even privately. I guess I’ll do that now.
February 14, 2007
I flew to St. Louis at like some random time in the afternoon. I spent the morning at KSHS doing research for a paper and then got yelled at in Mezcal by Brandon and Bearman for quite a bit, but I could not be swayed. So James took me to the airport and I boarded a plane to St. Louis. I got there at 5:30 or so and there was this brilliant and wonderful moment where I was walking toward the luggage claim with my stuff and he was at the bottom of the escalator and I caught his eyes as I was fumbling with my phone to call him. It was adorable. We got all of my stuff together and tossed it in his car and headed toward Delmar so that we could get to dinner and then to the show. He took me to dinner at this Thai place that’s pretty good… We basically just randomly chose it because I love thai food and so does he. He had a few beers and we chatted in a romanticly lit back corner table over our meals. My food was even really delicious. If I’m remembering correctly i had Pad See Euaw and he had Pad Thai. After dinner we went to the Pageant and met Sid and Jessy. We got there in time for a couple songs by the Academy Is.. and then we saw some song by some other band and I only remember paying attention to the song that I remembered from the radio. Then we got ready for Jack’s Mannequin. He managed to swindle our way down to the floor and he wrapped his arms around me and whispered sweet things in my ear while screaming at Andrew to play Konstantine, and other songs. There is a recording of our first date available at jacksmannequin.org. How cute is that? After that we drove to Schnucks and bought some beer and then we headed to Sid’s where we hung out with Jessy and Sid and eventually Ashley for the rest of the night. We hid under blankets to avoid awkward moments of the evenings. And it’s like right that moment we were a team. At least, that’s how I remember it now. Really, I think things developed at a much more reasonable pace than this would suggest. But that’s the best part sometimes.
December 21, 2007
Tonight, or rather today, we spent the morning laying around bed. He stayed up really late working on debate stuff and then joined me to sleep since I have been doing this thing lately where I wake up as soon as he’s not in bed next to me and have trouble getting back to sleep. How adorable is that? I’ve never really done that before… usually I just enjoy the extra bedspace. But there’s a part of me that even when asleep feels more comfortable with him next to me. So at 11 or so, he asked if I still wanted to see Charlie Wilson’s War at 12:15. I said I did so we started to get around and I took my shower and we cuddled some more. He complemented for me looking pretty when I got dressed and said that he’s always impressed with how pretty I look every day. Then, we left the house and headed to the movie theater. We bought our tickets and headed in for the show. He handed me a power ade when I was expecting Diet Coke and I was like “aagggh, PowerAde. What a waste of the money for the soda! ick!” in my brain and then i was like “what is this?” and he said “Diet Coke?” and i said “no… it doesn’t taste like diet coke.” so then he surprised me with the actual diet coke. while this was not an intentional mix up so that he could save the day with the soda i wanted, it is an adorable example of how he always thinks of me and he knows me well enough to get diet coke, or i suppose, he would ask before he chose powerade as the drink du jour. The movie was fantastic (you should see it!) and we were all snuggly during it. After the movie, we went to Rich People’s Dillons and I bitched about Suburbia and how much I hate the people that live out there and drive out there. THERE WAS A 4-CAR CRAZY FIASCO THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A WRECK TO TEACH THAT LEXUS A LESSON! Ack. We used my gift card from work, plus 1.89 of his money to get stuff to make shrimp tacos later. Then we headed to Washburn so I could get my check and send some transcripts. Finally, we went to the bank and deposited my check and then headed home to make our food. I cleaned the kitchen while he read net-benefits and then I caught up on my rss feeds and read some dirty letters from James Joyce. Turns out dirty letters from James Joyce are really fucking dirty. Like. really. Kind of horrifying, actually. Google that shit. We decided to postpone dinner till a more normal time, but when it finally was time for dinner we were both really hungry. And the shrimp tacos were delicious. He basically just heated up some oil and then let about 3/4 of a cup of onions simmer in it. After a minute or so of the onions simmering, he added a bunch of white shrimp that we’d gotten precooked. We added a heaping tablespoon or so of cilantro and about five round slices of pineapple cut into wedges. He seasoned it with Chipotle taco seasoning, just a little though, and then we ate it on soft corn tortillas with cheese and pico. Yumminess. After dinner we took a nap and then I headed to work and he went back to Kansas City.
So as you can see, our relationship has grown and changed a lot over the past 10 months. But in the best of ways. And I can’t wait to spend my life with him.
