Grind

Jess on January 24, 2009

Lately, I’ve felt stressed out and overwhelmed. I feel like things are never quite put-together enough at the apartment for me to work and have time to play. It’s like I’m always straightening something up or rushing to get something done or trying to find food to eat. I think most of this will ease up as I start to settle into my weekly schedule, especially as I incorporate work into it so I’m not constantly stressed about when I’m going to work or whatever. It’s also nice because we have a whole-day meeting for Interp & Communication so I don’t have any reading to do in either of my Tuesday classes. This should help me work Intercultural Communication into my regular reading schedule.

I still like my classes well enough. The history one is especially great, at least, it’s good discussion and thought provoking and far more like what I expected graduate school to feel like. I’m hoping that intercultural comm. will feel the same, but who knows.

We have a PS3 now, and I found Animal Crossing: City Folk really cheap for the Wii at Blockbuster. So now I have Little Big Planet and Animal Crossing to keep me good and distracted. Also, using the free browser on the PS3, I can play last.fm radio over the TV. Pretty baller. Should help me get some studying done, hopefully.

The king has returned

Jess on January 16, 2009

Kyle and I got back to Lubbock with Logan in tow on Monday. I’ve been in a frenzy because I’m so behind on school already for a variety of reasons. I missed the first session of each of my classes on account of deciding to stay in Topeka to judge the debate tournament. That decision was the most logical and economically advantageous, but it was still a stress on the start of my semester.

All laid out, my semester is going to be lots of work. I’m reading about 10-15 articles a week, plus a book a week until spring break. I think spring break is really going to be the downward slope, but I’m not quite sure. There is so much to read and respond to and turn in, but I think this semester will be far more intellectually stimulating than the last. Hooray for that!

I also have my first freelance invitation work, I think. I’m going to start doing a draft for that soon. I’m so excited to be designing again and to work out that part of my brain too. I would really like to start doing more work in the same vein if possible.

Kyle is at Denver’s debate tournament this weekend. I miss him terribly. Sometimes, it’s strange, how much I miss him when he’s away like this. We’ve been together for a long time and virtually inseparable since winter break started but I really don’t appreciate the break from him at all. I just keep thinking about how much I miss him, and how delicious the dinner I made myself was, and I wish he was here to share it with me because I think he would really like it. He calls me and sends me texts more when he’s away too, and he called me last night after I fell asleep and then texted me to say how much he missed me. I’ll be so happy when he’s back.

Happy Happy Holiday

Jess on December 28, 2008

Christmas went pretty well. The week we spent ending on Christmas eve with my parents was really nice and I think I’m quite less apprehensive about our future time there as a couple. The day before Christmas Eve, I went out for coffee with Mallory and left Kyle at home so that we could visit more and because Kyle, I think, expected to get some reading done for next semester. He ended up instead spending the whole evening chatting with my mom. By the time I got home, mom decided that she actually is fond of Kyle and is glad that she had the chance to get to know him better.  While I’m still fairly bitter that she never made this effort to get to know him sooner and never trusted my judgement on the man I chose to marry until a few days ago, I was pretty well convinced that she was simply never going to accept him fully as a member of our family and that seems like a greater possibility now so I’m fairly content on that status for the time being.

We bought both of our parents digital photo frames as their Christmas presents.  Both sets seemed plenty happy with the gift and were excited to get them loaded up quickly.  We’re having some trouble getting images from our computer to the cards and may need to break down and buy a card reader.  Also, for some reason, our attempt to transfer photos from my computer to our PC at home resulted in Kyle’s jump drive becoming write-protected.  What’s up, PNY?  Get your self sorted out! So trying to set up gifts for my parents was pretty maddening… but it’ll get better.  When we bought the frames, Best Buy was bundling them with digital frame key chains that are pretty nice so we gave those to my parents and my uncle.  We figured my mom would take the keychain but my dad ended up opening that when mom opened up the frame and he was so excited to have something on which he can carry photos of his children that I think he’ll end up using it the most.  It made me really happy.  I love watching other people’s faces light up when I give them gifts!

Kyle and I had some good gift-opening ourselves.  We got mostly gift cards and some DVD series and XBOX live and a PS3.  I’m so excited for the PS3 to arrive.  I basically want to play Little Big Planet all the time.  Since it’s break, I’ve been playing Animal Crossing for DS basically non-stop.  Kyle makes fun of me for it as it is pretty obviously a game for children that I love.  I want the new Wii version at some point too, though I’m not sure I’ll be as interested in it when it isn’t portable because it’s not really so interesting that I can’t still watch tv or do whatever while i’m playing.

I need to read.  I also need to go through the Nelson again while I’m back in town.  I haven’t been in ages.  Perhaps, I can find a good museum-going friend to traverse through it with me at some point this week.  I have two new pairs of boots and want to redo my whole wardrobe from there up.  I also have new jeans.  A grey-blue pair of skinny jeans at that.  Woo.  I love skinny jeans. That’s pretty much all of my news.

I would like to talk about the Christmas Midnight Mass at the Cathedral but that entry will have to wait.

As it is

Jess on December 22, 2008

I blame you for sucking the poetry out of me,
crushing it.
Leaving me with bitter writers block
as I listen to you smoke cigarettes
from two rooms away.

I have three lines of well-constructed stanza twisting inside of me and everywhere else there is only happiness.

Soup warms the winter soul

Jess on December 20, 2008

I made soup for Kyle’s parents the other day and liked the recipe so much I’ve committed to eating it all the time. I made it tonight for my parents and they really liked it too, which is astounding as usually they won’t even eat the things that I bring into the house on account of they are crazy and vegetarian and often include words that have been appropriated by english speakers from foreign vernaculars. I’m quite fond of it and would like to recommend it to anyone looking for a sweet, warming break this holiday season:

Red Medley Soup

Combine one chopped red onion, one chopped red pepper, chopped fresh garlic cloves to taste (the recipe says one but I love garlic and use more) in a large saucepan with two tablespoons olive oil. Cook at medium heat until sizzling and then reduce heat to low and cover, cooking for five minutes.

Combine mixture in sauce pan with one drained can of dark red kidney beans, one undrained can of diced tomatoes, four cups of vegetable stock, two tablespoons of long grain rice, two tablespoons worcestershire sauce, one teaspoon sugar and one teaspoon dry oregano leaves in a large stock pot. Stir vigorously and bring the soup to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for fifteen minutes.

Serve soup over long grain rice garnished with grated cheddar cheese, fresh chopped parsley, salt and pepper to taste.

Serves 4-6.

As we use long grain rice in the easy cook packets from uncle bens, we always have plenty left over to serve the soup over. I don’t notice the extra rice at the bottom and am convinced that you could just add more rice to the recipe. I think Kyle and I just like the idea of serving food with hidden rice in the bottom. I’m also pretty sure, after thinking about it during dinner tonight, that the recipe I have intends for you to toss two tablespoons of dry rice into the recipe, not to cook it. This would be massively cheaper as one bag of long grain rice translates into many-a-tablespoon and it would take the microwave out of our efforts.

Access

Jess on December 16, 2008

Winter break and I’m up to my usual antics.  I have yet to start a new book since finishing The Historian but I have been catching up on my tv-on-dvd marathons.  Kyle and I also have been driving a lot, probably too much, and trying to get out to see a movie here and there.

Last week, we left Lubbock on Wednesday and drove to Topeka.  We got in around 7 or 8 and had some Jimmy Johns with my parents before he headed back to send an email to Joe about grades for the class he TA’d last semester.  I spent some time socializing with Mom and dad and then watched Top Chef with him and James who showed up about 5 or 10 minutes in.  It was nice to get to spend some time hanging out, but the night has seemed to be far more devilish in the grand-scheme of things which have dictated my lief as of late.

Thursday we left for Carbondale, spending an hour in Blue Springs to situate ourselves here before heading out.  We spent Thursday and Friday night in Carbondale with friends.  Duran came in and Adam and Kevin let us stay with them.  Ben was there too which made me happy.  I don’t get to chat with him enough, we’re both so busy… but it’s nice to see familiar faces around.  That’s probably my most favorite thing about being home from break.  We went out for dinners at our favorite places—Don Taco and Fujiyama.  The sushi we had at Fujiyama was really remarkable.  Mind you, we’ve been living in Lubbock, Texas for the past several months where I refuse to eat any sushi not made out of processed, cooked fish unless I made it myself… but we were in Carbondale, Illinois where pickings are usually not quite better.  Every piece of fish I had seemed so fresh and yummy.  The rolls were great, and the albacore sashimi was better.  We also went to see Role Models with Adam and Kathleen which was funny.

The only real stress in Carbondale was my mom flipping out about our plans to be in Blue Springs for a few more days before we returned to Topeka.  Our plan is basically to spend full weeks in places instead of three days here and three days there where we feel stressed out because we’re never in one place and we feel like we no more than get settled and already have to leave.  It also cuts down on long driving trips, and with this winter weather, that can be quite the safety precaution.  Anyway, my mom has somehow decided that we hate staying with them and that we are better off just spending all of our time in Blue Springs.  We’re not going to take this route because we want to see our friends in Topeka and it actually is important to us that we spend time with my family too.  It’s just so hard to reason with her.  I pretty much gave up on it.  I told her Saturday as we headed home that we were going to just do as we had always planned and that we’d be home later this week, so we’ll see how that goes when we get there.

I wish she wasn’t so insecure and hung up on issues which she mostly caused herself before the wedding.  She just keeps claiming that she hardly got the chance to know Kyle and his family because we insisted on getting married so soon.  That is true, to an extent, but a lot of that stemmed from mom and dad’s failure to get to know him when he was in town when I was living in the apartment, and his parents had basically the same amount of time to get to know me when we were dating and they certainly made that effort.  And, since we got married, there is no excuse to not get to know them.

I am not sure what exactly mom expected in terms of knowing her future in-laws before the wedding.   I guess, growing up in a small town with my dad where her parents and his parents had always known each other may have made their marriage a little easier in the beginning, but at some point they need to get past that and begin to forge a relationship.  We have enabled this in anyway we’ve found possible but from cancelled dinners out on non-holidays to refused invitations on both Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems we are making no progress.

More than anything, it bothers me that she always claims that she doesn’t know Kyle or his family and expresses no interest in taking opportunities to do so because it suggests to me that she still doesn’t believe that this marriage is serious.  That hurts because if she can’t figure that out then she’s not really paying attention to what I tell her about how our first several months of marriage is going.  Also, I did not appreciate the assertion she made in her latest email to me: “I just don’t know what happened to the beautiful wonderful little girl I knew all these years.  I feel like you have just turned on me.”

That is all that I have the energy for now.  I’ll update more on the more-entertaining events of winter break.