Category: Poetry

i’m just there to establish a presence,
and you’re no one or nothing (or something)
but i want you to know who i am
and i want you to see me from under my hat
i bet you’re real cute when you’re driving

you’re someone to somebody but not to me
i’m just looking for something
that i can’t find in me
you’re holding back and looking behind me
i think she’s cute too,
at least cuter than i am

our eyes dance around each others
through the shelves and over books
maybe we’ll brush up against each other in line, sometime
but not today, not right now.
and i won’t even remember your smile tomorrow.

when we sit so alone
we’re with each other, and there is romance
in our togetherness and solitude
and i still have no idea who i am in relation to you
but my thoughts stir like butterflies
they even move into my stomach

and the words sparkle on my lips
like vaseline, for chapped-ness
and i have a cold, you get the germs
i’m so, i’m so sorry.

i will give you what you want
as long as you’re not lying
when you explain what that is
i will give you what you need
even if i can’t afford the guarantees
i’ll make an effort, i’ll try.

and the guilt dances across my face
like red koolaid on white carpet
i don’t know what to say to her
but we were really doing nothing wrong

i need someone to hold on to.

sixty-four poems ago you asked
if my words were spoken
in admiration of another girl
and i wanted to say yes,
or say no but you don’t know the girl
and i probably would have,
but i learned a lesson from someone else
that you should always be honest no matter the consequences
&that you should never give up on love
so i said no, (mumble) they’re about you
that moment will be forever engraved in my head

even if you break your memories against my head
and the glass shatters in
and the blood pours out,
i still would remember ever moment immediately following that
and i’d still remember how your voice sounded
(the next day on the phone)
i heard it for three hours,
i should have it memorized
and i do. love you

i would help you pick up the shattered pieces of your life
but they’re beginning to float out into the ocean
and if we took them all back,
what would the fish use,
to kill their friends?

i missed you so much today
i was driving and the wind was blowing
but i was trapped so safely behind the window
still, i could smell you in its wafts.
it’s such an angry wind
It would not be you breaking my heart
instead, a liberation. you: the liberator
and I would let you open the doors to my cage
with your everpressing tongue,
do you still taste the same?
i hope so.
love and monongamy are not interrelated
that is what no one understood before
man was not meant to be faithful
and neither am i
so don’t use those words.
just call me.

these power chords don’t hit so hard anymore
and i’m only playing anthems of when i was not with you
but i’m writing poetry when we should be on the phone
i don’t hear your voice so clearly anymore
and i take your words at hypocritical value
everything you write is beautiful,
and yet as i tumble on bricks i divide them:
this one is definitely true, and
oh this is more than fiction.

i don’t know how to read you
but your hands are so soft (so soft) when they’re in mine
they’re probably soft all the time,
but i thinkhope i’m the only one that consistently gets to feel them
you could rightfully believe the same about mine
and i’m maintaining false hopes of freedom
realizing all the time, i’m so tied down
and i say i won’t get my heart broken
but it rests in your hands like putty
and i don’t know whether this is solid ground or quicksand
only that i’m falling fast.

funny: how you can fall for so long,
and never hit the ground
maybe i’m floating, is that what this is?
&who am I? am i trying to hard,
sometimes i think the answer is yes,
but you know better than i.
so kiss me during the credits
and hold my hand until commercial
we can press pause or play whenever you/i need to
as long as we never find a break between movies
(with the list we have that would be damn near impossible)

i want to know you so well
that i can curl up on a couch with you
you can read your books and i’ll just listen,
to the whirring motionlessness of the television
i want to giggle when you do and cry too
i want to know where my head fits most comfortably
and i hope it’s next to you.

when you broke my heart
i changed my definition of gorgeous
i only like boys with beards
and girls with woodpecker tattoos
definitely not you or me.

when you broke my heart
you changed your face
you quit smoothing it with razors
but i was falling in love
and i quit shaving at all
except for my armpits but that’s to support my theory
i don’t know who we are, but we are
definitely not you or me.

when you broke my heart
i knew that it was all my fault
and so i said goodbye to you
with only fourdays of tears
and i called that boy
within 24 hours to see how he was
he said his girlfriend was fine
and he called me later

when you broke my heart
i had some time to think
and this go-around i elongated it
you’re not as good as you think
so i let you go and you took parts of me
i’ll never do that again
this is goodbye

when you broke my heart
i realized everything that i had been missing out on.
i’m really not that sad anymore.

i realized why you hate this place today
they said something about you
using dirty words, and i stopped short.
you were the one that comforted me
(when i was crying or when i was angry)
you never fucked him two weeks later.
i appreciate that &you.

i glared for a few seconds
but my forte is with words,
not bitten tongues.
i precisely said “she’s one of my best friends..
and what you said about her
it isn’t true.”
she replied well i don’t know her
and she was right.
she doesn’t know you.

i miss you x times infinity
where x is a positive integer
i feel better when you hold my hand
and i can cling to you under the covers
your fingers wipe the tears from my eyes better than anyone elses
soft whispers of
i love you i love you i love you iloveyou
i love you.

my cellphone says there is no message
but i have to see you soon.
i love you baby girl,
and hey i got your back.
i would’ve kicked her ass.
but she said sorry.

(and cheating does get it faster)

i can see the future
at least i can tell far enough
it’s gonna be a long way,
it’s gonna be a hard sprint.
i guess i’ll try.
i think i might make it.
but i can’t see clearly
;i don’t think clearly.

plug me into the wall
and i can interpret the world for you
radio, radio, radio.
i’m going to need something more than
a frayed chord intended to get me through this
i don’t know who i am
and i don’t know where this is.

i want to see you.
fuck this
i need to see you.

is it the static
or my whirring thoughts
that you seem to blend in to?

is it in your
or in myself
that i am going under?

i am going under

cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
fuck up.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.
cutter.