Another slow week, waiting for the arrival of July

Jess on June 27, 2008

I am in the worst mood for some unknown reason.  I even have reasons to be glad like Kyle is in town tonight and I have a clean room to go home to because I spent all afternoon working on it.  For some reason, there is not enough time in the day and there is too much time until the summer is over and I get to move into an apartment with Kyle who will then become my husband.  Maybe I’ll cheer up soon.

My mom and I are still getting along really well so I hope that keeps happening.  It’s nice.  Every evening when she gets home we sit outside and chat until it’s time for me to go to work.  It’s this sort of getting along that I’m really going to miss when I move away, but I’m sure we’ll keep in touch on the phone and things.

On the brightside, I no longer think that staying at home would bring on bouts of depression which is a big plus because I’ve mostly felt that way for my entire life.  There is a chance that three days without a whole lot of structured things to do is like my critical point where I feel like I have a lot to do without feeling like I have too much time to do it.  We will see, I suppose.

Kyle and I officially move on August 15.  We even have an apartment number already! Yay! 203B!  For some reason, I’ve gotten impossibly excited after figuring out what apartment will be ours.  Maybe it’s related to being able to finish the wedding programs, hah.  I still need to discuss it with him, but I think the plan is for his parents to go with us when we first head down and help us move in the furniture and basic things and then for my mom to accompany us, Logan and the wedding gifts when we head back on Labor Day after the wedding.  It should be a good time.  And I’m excited to get there.

Also, this past week I have been very good with money which is good because I am on a budget.  Go me.

You know what sucks more than Colbie Callait? Nothing.

Jess on March 4, 2008

So I heard for Boston and it looks like Kyle and my options are down to basically just Iowa, so hopefully that works out.  I’m not too worried about it though.  If I get in, then I get in and we’ll explore that option further and if I don’t get in it could be good to have some time to think about things and maybe consider taking the LSAT and trying to go the lawschool route or looking at what some of my other options might be.  I don’t NEED to spend the next infinity years getting a PhD and getting tenured.  It could be good to have a reason to take some time off and get to know me better.

Wedding planning is going really well aside from the part where my computer decided to fuck up randomly because Apple rushed Leopard it would seem.  Kyle and I spent the weekend together and got to talk to his parents about all of our plans which was a big positive step.  Things went really well.  I was sort of nervous at first on Friday night because it seemed like his mom had much bigger plans for what the wedding should be than I did and she wasn’t too forthcoming about willingness to pay for things she wanted that we didn’t necessarily care about.  But then on Saturday we had a mroe formal meeting where we went over a list of things that grooms families usually do and added to it based on what will be best for my parents and the wedding in general for us to pay for things.  It turned out very well… and overall I think the cost of the wedding should be split nearly perfectly down the middle with a little bit of money kicked in from me.  The nice thing about my not having to spend all my money on the wedding is that Kyle and I will have a tiny bit of a nest egg when we get going next year, wherever that will be.

I have been doing much better with finances and saving this semester than ever before.  I think living with Tim really kicked up my responsibility level and those things.  It was good to be basically wholly reliant on myself with the help of a roommate for rent and bills purposes. 

 That is all. My life is more exciting than this, I like to think.  But really, it’s not.

There's a light at the end of this tunnel

Jess on July 6, 2007

I’m really bad off financially. Like. Seriously. I’m in a bad spot. But, things will get better and I know that.  I’m working two jobs now so I feel like I’m doing the most I can to make things better. When summer ends, I’ll be working four and going to school full-time.  I’ll also have some financial aid rolling in.  The thing about all of it is that whenever I look around I realize I’m surrounded by so many amazing things and people.  It just doesn’t make sense to get bummed out about anything.  I love it.

Since that summer where I started to hate who I was becoming, I’ve felt like my life peaked at 18 and that I’d just never feel that happy again. But all of those thoughts are over now.  I look around my living room at any time and I see a whole set of friends who I love and who love me back and we’re like a family.  My biggest inconvenience is that I accidentally had a party :).  I feel so comfortable and happy.  It just doesn’t matter that a lot of things about this week have been shitty.

Fourth of July was great.  Kyle and I spent it together, doing what it is that Kyle and I usually do… cuddling, watching Law and Order, taking naps… and grilling.  His mom and dad called us at 3 and were like “remember how we said we’d be home by noon?  uh… we need you to get dinner on the table, we’ll be home in time to eat it.” lol.  So cook we did.  Kyle and I spent about two hours in the kitchen just the two of us (and the dog), cleaning and seasoning asparagus, adding kc barbecue sauce to the vegetarian baked beans to make it taste perfect, husking/cleaning/buttering/wrapping sweet corn and making burgers both vegetarian and some for his family. It just felt so… right. I’m looking forward to a lifetime of that.

The whole time I was in town was peppered with visits from his friends and when he’s in town the same is true.  I feel like he is actually friends with my frieends which means he’s not only trying to be friends with them but also succeeding.  It’s not like some sort of thing he does just for me in most cases… its like he genuinely gets along with them.  And I adore that. And I think his friends are liking me.  I’m hoping everyone will gather for the Fiesta this year cos I’m so excited to go.  maybe I’ll make some deliciously vegetarian authenticish mexican food.  with potatoes and peas in it.  just like i hated growing up but occasionally crave now.

And it’s been Autumn since the day that I met you/If I hit bottom must I crawl out alone?/And I dont wish to know the secrets of summer at all//We’re 21 and invincible – Something Corporate, “21 and invincible”

Hey. Wait. I've got a new complaint.

Jess on July 5, 2007

My car died.  I’m pretty sad about it, but mostly I figure there’s really nothing I can do.  Dad’s convinced its cos I didn’t put oil in it… but I promise.  There was oil.  There just isn’t oil now because its got a crack and it’s leaking oil all over.  He’d know this if he looked under the hood and saw the massive amount of oil there.

On the bright side, I’ll get a new car soon.  And everything will probably be alright.  Nothing really matters anyway.

Also, I’m listening to Jimmy Carr standup which I’m excited about.  (He’s the host of distracted).  I’ve been pretty interested in hearing his standup cos I heard I’d like him for about a year and a half.  But after I downloaded it I realized I don’t pay attention to people talking on headphones so I had to wait for Tonya’s wedding when we listened to Dane Cook on the drive down there and I realized it was hilarious.  And that stand-up on tape rocks.