Setting the summer sun on fire (with molotov cocktails)

I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am to be behind the wheel of my own car again. It’s a 94 grand prix. Which means it’s not the cutest body style of a grand prix ever but it’s in great condition and I’m excited to take it lots of fun places. Place 1 being the salt mines with mr. roger losey-face. place two being carbondale a lot to see my boyfriend when he gets shipped back to illinois. place three being minneapolis where it looks like i’ll have to take a new direction to visit friends and see the school. and a whole lot of other places that i’ll think up later. like wisconsin. Anyway. It’s pretty badass. And according to all calculations, it gets pretty excellent gas mileage… so I’m excited about that as well. And it’s comfy. Soon, it will have my cd player in it… which of course I’m unbelievably happy about. Very good stuff!

I told Tyler I’d work in Lawrence tomorrow night instead of Topeka so I 1) get to work at a different store and 2) i get to leave for kansas city on sunday right away from lawrence, which means i get to see kyle a day earlier than I’m used to and I’m excited about that. I’m hoping to drag him out to superbad on sunday so i can nurture my silly crush on Michael Cera. I was very happy to learn today that Michael Cera is 19, though just barely. I’d been half expecting to learn the object of my unrealistic affections was only 17. Which would be devastating.

In celebration of having my new car, Roger and I went to the Kemper today. He rode shotty cos he actually fits in this car. I should’ve made him ride in the back so he’d realize just how much more space he now has… but I didn’t do that. Because I was being nice. My mistake. Anyway. The Kemper is my favorite art museum. Probably not ever. But close because it’s so small the exhibits are always changing and it holds my attention more than a permanent collection. Not that I don’t go to the Nelson like 50 times a year or anything… but I’m just saying. If I were Lady Kemper and my husband bought me the museum just to make me happy and give me something to do… I’d be happy. Today, the big exhibit was called Phantasmania. It featured pretty sweet art which was all a reflection of our existence and globalization and capitalization and other things. Like how you shouldn’t fish for sharks with your penis (I PROMISE YOU CAN SEE IT HAPPEN THERE IT IS WEIRD AND AMAZING). So these were some of my favorite artists.

Dan Attoe makes art like this:
Dan Attoe, Accretion #26
On the art, he has littler pictures which have words like some sort of word map. It’s awesome. An owl told us about how there was a fucking bubble in his fucking brain. I liked it a whole lot. And it was also interesting to hear this pair of older women say over and over again that it reminded them of a waterfall they saw in Colorado (we were looking at a different painting than the one i posted). It was pretty much awesome art. And I think he’s talented… and clever with his wording. It’s sort of bizarre. And we all know i’m into the bizarre.

Also featured is Angela Fraleigh. She makes really awesome huge art that’s these really sensuous paintings with large paint spills on them. And it makes it look dirtier and like there is an aching. She also names paintings like I title poetry… drawn-out and rambly with no capital letters… so i appreciated it.
Angela Fraleigh, that i may somehow take on the weight of your sadness
The above painting, “that i may somehow take on the weight of your sadness” was actually featured in the exhbit. it’s beautiful. and it’s really big in real life. i really liked this stuff a whole lot. but i love paint-spills, don’t i. and i like collage a lot. and this sort of draws on that. it certainly tells a story… but in a different way than most artists.

And THEN there was art by Jonathan Pylypchuk who does this awesome stuffed animal type creation which seems to me like something you’d see at the grassroots art center or somewhere. it’s awesome. and i wanna make things similar to it but of course i have no talent. here’s an example:
Jonathan Pylypchuk, I miss you, danger, and all its elements
They’re cute in their own way. At the museum, his piece is a whole village of people and animals that look a lot like this guy and they have these wooden shanties. it’s supposed to resemble a ghost town or a place after a natural disaster says the plaque next to it. So awesome.

I recommend you all go see it. If only cos it means going to the kemper.

You stay left; I'll go right.

It looks like I’ll be getting a new car by the end of the weekend hopefully. Kyle’s dad found a ’94 grand prix which is white and only has about 80 thousand miles on it.  Not bad.  Plus he’s not gonna charge me more than what he got it at the auction for.  I’m so excited to have a car.  More than that, I’m excited to have a car that will get me to see Kyle once in a while when he’s back in Illinois.  That drive the other day to Carbondale made me realize just how far that will be.  Suck.  We made it okay through last semester but part of me worries that a lot of the reason that was so easy (and really it wasn’t that easy) was because we hadn’t gotten used to spending all of our time together.  I knew then that I always wanted to be with him even when i wasn’t which made it easier to be apart from him but now I find it harder and harder to be separate even for just a few days.  We both have school to finish and I know that will keep us busy, plus all of our friends will be around which will make it easier too… I just don’t know how simple it will be this time to just see each other as much as possible.

Gizmo is all moved into my apartment now and things are very cute.  He has a vest/harness that i’m getting him used to so that he can be out more without being in that ball.  He just wears it for about 5 minutes a day or so and then he takes it off and I chase him around the apartment. Lol.  What a goof.  Logan enjoys chasing him with me… it seems to me that Logan doesn’t view him as prey. If anything, Logan is intimidated by him a smidge… but when the little fella is loose, Logan likes to point out to me where he’s hiding.  He’s only gotten free three times which isn’t so bad and I find him not that hard to catch.  A play pen is certainly in his future though.  That way he can hang out in the living room without having to be in a ball that he slams into stuff.  Goofy.  While Logan has proven to be a good helper when it comes time to find the Chin, he’s also not very aggressive when the critter is subdued.  For example, the other day i was on the couch holding Gizmo who was on his leash and Logan was asleep at the foot of the futon.  Gizmo jumped onto the futon and then peered down at the cat for a few until he decided to leap… onto the cat.  Logan stood up and looked at me like “who the fuck does he think he is?” and then retreated to under the couch.  Last night, Gizmo was in his ball and exploring my bedroom… by which i mean, slamming himself into all of my nice things… and Logan needed to use his litterbox.  So logan climbs in and Gizmo decides to investigate and slams himself into the litterbox.  Logan was midpoop so there wasn’t anything he could do about it.  I picked Gizmo up and moved him to the other part of the room.  Logan’s still not sure what to do about the ball that plays with him rather than the other way around. Hah.  I’m sure Gizmo will figure out the landscape of my room here pretty soon and then he’ll be better off.  It’s such a fun adventure.  And I think Logan likes having someone to play with.

Kyle got an upstage today. I can’t wait to see it.

Josh was mentioned in the Washington Post today.  They linked to one of his YouTube videos. How sweet is that?

Also, I heard from Erik today. In other quasi-political news 🙂 haha.  It was sweet to hear from  him, it’s been like forever since we talked… probably basically since we went out for ice cream together with Becky and Joe and Cara last June.  He’s supposed to call later so we can talk better than over txt message.  Hooray.

That gritty feeling in yr throat

Kyle admitted to me today that he’s settling for me.  Because he desperately wants to marry Regina Spektor.  That it’s Regina Spektor and not JoJo that I’m overshadowed by is endearing to me.  So I’m letting it go.  Plus, I’m going through a Regina Spektor phase these days so it’s nice that he’s not against listening to her sing, even if he just wants her really badly. Ahh.  So that’s awesome.  I think my favorite songs are probably Better and Poor Little Rich Boy.  But it’s hard to say cos Fidelity is so damned catchy.  She puts me in the mood for CoCoRosie which I doubt Kyle is nearly as excited about as I am.  Hah.

Shaw and Kristin (who is now also a Shaw, how confusing) got married on Sunday.  It was a really nice ceremony and Kristin looked really beautiful.  Her dresses for the bridesmaids and the flowers were also really sweet.  Kyle’s tux fit much better than at Dudley’s wedding though a lot of that is by virtue of it fitting much worse when he went to pick it up on Friday so they had to alter it.  Oi.  He looked pretty hot in his tux though.  After the wedding was the reception which was a blast.  I got to see Luke, Phil, Rachel, Jeremy and Kelly again, plus Sean brought Megan and Banks’s Megan was there too.  I really like her a whole bunch and I hope the bar goes well for her on Wednesday!  Chad and Lilia were there too for a flash.  Just long enough to say hi to our table and then scamper off.  It was nice.  Open bars are all they’re cracked up to be… so add to the list of features i want at my wedding so it now includes: 1) sunflower bouqets; 2)  readings centered around spousal devotion and a homily on the importance of the union of marriage; 3) an open bar. Beautiful.

Work is going pretty well. I closed again last night which makes me really anxious. The drawer was short which didn’t help, but I think I counted everything correctly and didn’t really fuck up that badly so that’s good. I really wish I just didn’t close ever… but I doubt I’ll ever breach that subject with Tyler so who knows. Ugh.

I’m still studying for the GRE and still hoping I get a car soon.  Aggh… Too much is going on.

A Tuesday in July, et cetera

Kyle, eating at Lulu's.Our date on Tuesday started by us waking up and talking about plans.  Luckily, we both basically agreed on the major details: thai food, mccoys, lots of friends for dinner.  I wanted to see La Vie En Rose as well, which kyle consented to and knew about before morning, but I doubt it was exactly in his set of plans.    Oh well, though, it was still great.

After we got around and let the dog out and all of those fine things that people do when its morning, we headed forMe, eating at Lulu's Midtown for the thai noodle house, Lulu’s, that i’ve been meaning to go to for years now.  It was completely delicious.  I’m not even kidding.  It’s pretty fairly priced, especially for Thai food.  And the atmosphere is really cute.  Picture a Zen Zero which isn’t trying as hard.  It’s like a fun little bar with Thai food.  And the food was good too.  My only complaints are that my food wasn’t spicy which was really a function of the thing I ordered which was absolutely delicious… and that you can’t subsistute for Tofu on the lunch menu unless it already is a vegetarian/tofu meal.  So that was a bummer… but it’s only about 27 cents you save on the lunch menu so that wouldn’t be too big of a deal…. of course i ended up ordering something 3 dollars more expensive on the regular food menu.  Everyone in Kansas City should eat at Lulu’s. You’ll love it like you love Thai food.  I promise.

After Lunch, we went to McCoys for some 2 dollar pints.  I’m addicted to their Ginger Shandy, literally, the first time I had a sip I said “Welp, if I’m not an alcoholic this is going to do it to me.”  Kyle and I, at McCoysIt’s brewed in house. and they brew it with Ginger and Lemonade, which I think makes it completely fantastic. Especially in the summer.  It’s basically the blush wine of beers and even though it seems girly, it’s a good beer so you don’t feel bad drinking it.  And did I mention the lemonade in it? Cos if I didn’t…  let me stress it.  Yum.  We had a good time at McCoys for a few drinks before the movie.  Kyle had to have a few drinks cos I promised him that he could have some since I was making him read a movie that was in French no less.  I don’t think he ended up minding the movie too much… but it prolly helped that he wasn’t dreading it quite as badly.

The movie, La Vie En Rose, was amazing, I thought.  Mostly, I liked everything that made the movie come together.  I think the acting was great, especially the woman who played Edith Piaf, Marion Cotillard.  It’s probably pretty easy to play a diva who wants everything her way like Edith Piaf was portrayed… but the acting in the scenes when she was upset just seemed very sincere.  The writing/directing was done by the same fella and it was also pretty impressive.  They oscillated between the story of her life and the end of her life throughout the movie and it was really well done.  Especially when it all came together in the final scene… with my favorite Edith Piaf song, no less.  It was awesome.  It’s interesting to me how directors put biographies together.  Esp when it’s not an autobiography or based on one or anything.  I think the way we tell stories about others says so much about ourself or just society in general.  The movie made me think a lot about why he portrayed her in the way that he did and what commentary he was making on her life and lives in general.  The movie was pretty good though and I’m glad I went to see it.  Prolly could’ve stood to cut about 20 minutes, but I don’t really know where the minutes would come from… so I get not cutting them.

After the movie, we went shopping at World Market for ingredients for Thai food thenThai dinner time! we had our KC friends over for dinner.  Nick and Jessica, Chris and Kristin, Banks and Big Papa, Phil and Rachel.  Plus the two of us.  It was a good quadruple-date plus Banks and Big Papa. Lol.   I made Pad Thai with vermicelli noodles, egg, beanKyle at dinner sprouts and fried tofu plus we had seafood cold spring rolls which were a big hit according to everyone.  Kyle grilled asparagus which is our new favorite thing and we tossed some sweet chili garlic sauce on it for a thai-kick since they don’t actually eat asparagus in thailand as far as we know.  Yummy.  And there was white rice.  Of course.  But I don’t know how much that matters.  Rice is rice. There was a Sheridan’s run at Kristin’s request after dinner and then lots of drinking and poker and All-Star Game watching! Yay!

Next week I want to do a sushi night with my washburn debate friends but it might have to wait another paycheck before it happens… We’ll see how it goes.

Today, we golfed.  At the driving range.  Kyle’s so awesome.  Even when I suck at golf and can’t hit the ball let alone hit it far, he’s really nice and patient and just gives me advice.  And then I get better at golfing and everything is wonderful and I’m so happy to have such a great boyfriend.

There's a light at the end of this tunnel

I’m really bad off financially. Like. Seriously. I’m in a bad spot. But, things will get better and I know that.  I’m working two jobs now so I feel like I’m doing the most I can to make things better. When summer ends, I’ll be working four and going to school full-time.  I’ll also have some financial aid rolling in.  The thing about all of it is that whenever I look around I realize I’m surrounded by so many amazing things and people.  It just doesn’t make sense to get bummed out about anything.  I love it.

Since that summer where I started to hate who I was becoming, I’ve felt like my life peaked at 18 and that I’d just never feel that happy again. But all of those thoughts are over now.  I look around my living room at any time and I see a whole set of friends who I love and who love me back and we’re like a family.  My biggest inconvenience is that I accidentally had a party :).  I feel so comfortable and happy.  It just doesn’t matter that a lot of things about this week have been shitty.

Fourth of July was great.  Kyle and I spent it together, doing what it is that Kyle and I usually do… cuddling, watching Law and Order, taking naps… and grilling.  His mom and dad called us at 3 and were like “remember how we said we’d be home by noon?  uh… we need you to get dinner on the table, we’ll be home in time to eat it.” lol.  So cook we did.  Kyle and I spent about two hours in the kitchen just the two of us (and the dog), cleaning and seasoning asparagus, adding kc barbecue sauce to the vegetarian baked beans to make it taste perfect, husking/cleaning/buttering/wrapping sweet corn and making burgers both vegetarian and some for his family. It just felt so… right. I’m looking forward to a lifetime of that.

The whole time I was in town was peppered with visits from his friends and when he’s in town the same is true.  I feel like he is actually friends with my frieends which means he’s not only trying to be friends with them but also succeeding.  It’s not like some sort of thing he does just for me in most cases… its like he genuinely gets along with them.  And I adore that. And I think his friends are liking me.  I’m hoping everyone will gather for the Fiesta this year cos I’m so excited to go.  maybe I’ll make some deliciously vegetarian authenticish mexican food.  with potatoes and peas in it.  just like i hated growing up but occasionally crave now.

And it’s been Autumn since the day that I met you/If I hit bottom must I crawl out alone?/And I dont wish to know the secrets of summer at all//We’re 21 and invincible – Something Corporate, “21 and invincible”