powerful amazon warrior
i took first place at the kansas state debate tournament this weekend. it seriously fucking rocks. like i have no other way to describe how it feels but that its like the best, most gratified, i have felt in a truly long time. we had lots of great rounds with lots of clash and we had a grand time. what a way to go out you know? its just sad though cos i had such a kickass time debating all weekend and i just love doing it and now i don’t get to debate in high school anymore. :/ the only downside is that there was confusion about one of the ballots so they announced us as second and we were really happy and everything and then katie was reading about why we lost and said that one of the ballots that went NEG looked like it should’ve gone AFF so they talked to McComas and she said that it looked that way so then they talked to curtis (the judge) and he was like “oh yah i meant to write AFF” so we got to take first but we took the trophy and medals back from megan and zach and i love those kids to pieces. they’re both reggae-fantastic so i feel shitty that they didn’t get to have it. but oh well. 2nd in state isn’t bad at all. and this is great for mckeithan. he’s like a little girl about it. haha. “it feels so good to win.” and oh-fuck-yah it does.
i’m dedicated the win to michelle. because i think it should be partially hers too you know. like she should’ve been there competing and hanging out with us at the party. it was really bittersweet cos we were celebrating tjs birthday and after we won and its like theres just this empty chair at the table. there should’ve been 12 of us not 11. or 13 if that other boy hadn’t have left. i love the jeff west kids so much and michelle was such an amazing girl. it was awkward sometimes cos you could just feel the missing space.
i got some scholarship/admittance stuff from Creighton! i got an 8000 dollar scholarship for academics and a grand for leadership. so now i need to get on writing all of my scholarship stuff for local ones and i qualified for a 3/4 tuition scholarship from creighton but there’s a big application that i need to get filled out. and if i get that then i can go there. i’m so incredibly excited. like seriously. i cried i was so happy 🙂
everything about existing feels nice right now.
i read an essay on “What the Bible really says about Homosexuality” and now i don’t feel so hated by God. which is nice. I always figured God didn’t hate me (or everything he created about me) and so now that I have some biblical analysis to back me up i feel a lot better and i can actually pray as a child of God instead of one of his cast assides. hooray for that.