easter eulogy
i remember you sitting in a chair
in between the living room and the dining room
and smiling at me
but you were totally unattached from everything
today, there will be no memories to make of you at all
except the strangeness that you set on this family
when you put that bullet in your neck
i wish i could mimic the sounds with my fists
but sadness and anger and grief, all mixed, doesn’t have a sound
tears fall
silently
to the ground.
which is worse?
the easter you sat there
a month after you’d left her
weeks after you begged her back
and you knew we hated you for it
or
the easter you were burried
a month after you’d left her
weeks after the funeral
and you weren’t here for us to hate you for it
we still did,
funny, some girls have uncles that they love
this is my eulogy for you
this is the eulogy you don’t deserve
this is the eulogy that describes only your bad
this is the eulogy that leaves out why it hurts
this is the eulogy that forgets
this is the eulogy that ignores
once, you were good.