this is your dance
ericka’s funeral was truly amazing. everyone wore pink and it was a complete celebration of her as a person. honestly.
i went to the wake last night and she was so beautiful. erika and i talked about it later and we both said that we were just waiting for her chest to rise and fall. she looked like she was just laying down for a nap before a debate tournament (its so hard that they bury them in suits cos that’s how i always see them and it makes me really sad because it looks just like the girl i always know). you really couldn’t tell that there had been any sort of trauma at all though. she looked wonderful. i think that it really set me in denial for a while though. because she really did look like she was just resting. at the same time though, it really sunk in. i stood in the parking lot and cried for a long time until my mom got there. then we went in and i got really sad and kept crying but i got to see her parents and tell them how wonderful ericka was and how we all really loved her and adored her. because we all did. she was just so easy to love.
this morning i left to get mallory and thought my day would probably be alright. i was listening to the beatles and theres just something about paul mccartney singing let it be that makes my heart feel alright. then when i got to her house my battery died. so there was a huge fiasco trying to fix the battery and then we gave up and had dad take us to seaman so we could meet erika.
the funeral had 4 speakers. her youth minister, her uncle who is a minister in texas and the one that’s a minister in minnesota, and tj who went to school with her and i know better than really any of the debaters. they all did really excellent jobs and it really held up her memory of being a wonderful christian. i think the funeral was exactly how she would’ve wanted it and it really felt like a celebration of her life.
i found out today that my mom’s favorite dog Babe passed away on Monday night. I guess she had a seizure in the middle of the night and mom and dad had to rush her into the vets but she never came out of it so they put her to sleep so she wouldn’t suffer. poor babe. she was such a great little dog. i told mom that lambie and michelle passed away at the same time so that they could both have each other in heaven and ericka must’ve just wanted a dog to take care of too so she’ll watch out for babe. that really seemed to comfort mom. i feel so bad for her. i think i’ll send her flowers tomorrow.