on the advantage
alright. i have three points to address in the lengthy blog of the session. thus, begin to get excited about reading about sleep deprivation, egoism, change.
alright i’ll start out with how amazingly tired i am. i don’t know what to say about it. it just so happens that i am completely exhausted. my suggested explanation is that i don’t sleep much or correctly anymore. that is, friday night i slept 0 hours. saturday night i slept 8 hours, sunday night i slept 5 hours, and last night i slept 3ish hours. whoa. you’re body really shuts down when its running on so little sleep. so here i am at work all completely exhausted. hooray for caffeine, doll.
next, egoism. j posted a definition of the word selfish and a little thing about egoism and how one is an egoist if they do not accept the beliefs of others. j says that selfish is “believing that one’s beliefs are absolute and that everyone should believe the way one believes.” encarta basically defines it as doing what is in your interests… i for sure uphold the values of egoism as a philosophy in whatever way shape or form. i’ll admit that i prefer rational egoism as a general social descriptor, but if people are going to buy into a theory egoism isn’t that bad really. the idea that what is moral is what protects you is a valid one. like whatever preserves your life and your pursuit of happiness is true. and therefore valid and moral. according to egoism. i personally like the philosophies of David Ross in The Right and the Good which discusses the value of a mixture between egoism and utilitarianism. i don’t like util because of the problems it causes for the minorities it would inevitable create. i don’t buy egoism for the problems it would inevitably create. but the mixture of the two, mostly based on Kant’s Categorical Imperative is relatively sound. it just makes a lot of sense because there are times when what is considered moral does not fall under the realm of Kant’s categories or the ultimate categories would conflict and Ross addresses this. therefore, i don’t think its correct to say that one becomes an egoist if they don’t accept the egoist thoughts of others because morality has so little to do with dictating the morality of others. or accepting it. i mean at the very worst a utilitarian may look at egoism and see that it possesses a lesser utility and wish for it to be eradicated from society. but even then. it doesn’t make them an egoist.
section 3, change. james had a long entry on his xanga that expressed his feelings about change and it made me think about how i feel about change. and how excited i get out of my element. like in washington dc. everything is so new and ready for me to conquer. in that good, let’s change the world way. and that’s what i love about it and about everything. and i know that when i look back at the way things were and notice they changed when i wasn’t paying attention, i still always think i’m living in the best. and that it can really only get better. because so far that’s all been true. i think this is one of the things that i truly love about myself.
i don’t know if i blogged about it when it happened by a month ago tomorrow morning i woke up next to pat and we had this long conversation about ourselves and love and other people and he was like “i just know that i love me” and i realized the same was true for myself. “i love me.” so i don’t let people treat me badly anymore. and i don’t do things that are completely harmful to me anymore. and i take control of my life and live it for the most of what its worth. and i love this. and i love me. and i love this about me.
i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself..