nous sommes allés à garden city
as the title suggests, joe and i went to garden city yesterday. it was about the funnest thing ever. i like to think that we subconciously gained inspiration for this trip by watching nappy d. you know the part where the kid is like “what are you gonna do today napoleon?” and nappy d is like “whatever i wanna do! gosh.”? well this was pretty much just like that. except the kid would be tonya. and throwing an action figure out the window would be driving to garden city and annaleigh has to fit in somewhere too on the grounds of she’s the one with the idea about the vietnamese. alright. it goes like this. joe and i went to this things on mexicans and the meatpacking industry in garden city on friday as was documented on friday-saturday. we decide at the thing that we should go to garden city but as i had work both friday and saturday those days were out. so we wait until sunday. until saturday night it was pretty unclear as to whether or not we were actually going but we both adore road trips and its some bizarre joke on tonya (= girl on forensics squad who is obsessed with garden city). so on saturday night it becomes clear to both of us that neither of us is going to back out of the trip. so joe, steve and i watch this woody allen flick that steve picked out and was actually pretty brilliant (Hollywood Ending). when steve went home joe and i watched some family guy that i slept during and then went to bed (i basically just staid asleep on the couch).
joe went to mass then at 7 am and came back to his apartment at about 930 ish with doughnuts which is when i realized we were actually going. so i took a shower and attempted to look kind of alright. and then i called my mom and pseudo-swindled her permission for the deal. we left town at like about 10:23 am i believe and we kept record of what happened, via saying “Let the record show…” and then we would record that fact. This record pretty much demonstrates our insanity as we stayed on the road and day turned into night and hays turned into oakley turned into garden city turned into dodge turned into snoooooooow.
topeka to abilene was relatively uneventful. it occured to us sometime in topeka that neither of us actually had a mapquest explaining how to get there. this turned out to be what might be considered our downfall. we had talks about manhattan and whether or not it was actually close. i pointed out where timothy mcveigh rented the uhaul they used to be motherfucking terrorists with… typical kansas tourism hyjinks for that area.
abilene to lucas was probably the exciting part of the trip. seeing the attractions of abilene (ie the lot that used to be a uhaul rental and the holiday inn i once stayed at) gave us the adrenaline necessary to continue. there had been talk of plans for lunch in salina, originally with clayton but he kinda was busy, but we drove through it instead because joe didn’t stop and i didn’t care. we eventually stumbled upon a sign that said “Garden of Eden Lucas, KS 16 miles” So we turned off of I-70 and went to see the garden of eden which is this absolutely bizarre sculpture garden made by this pretty groovy populist in the 1920-30s. It depicts scenes that are anti-big business and anti-discrimination as well as scenes from genesis, though basically just adam and eve and cain and abel. his house was tourable too. that was mostly just really creepy because the fourth room we entered was the bedroom and the only accompanying plaques said “Dinsmoor [the guy who made the sculptures and the house] died in this room.” augh! so creepy. why coudln’t they just say something nice? also bizarre about the house was over 600 varieties of barbed wire displayed on this tack board.. it was so weird. as if the house wasn’t bizarre enough. then outside there was the sculptures and the mausoleum that contained the body of dinsmoor and his first wife. his first wife was in a concrete coffin underneath him but he was in a mostly concrete coffin that had a glass part where you could actually see the body. it was pretty insane, i’m not going to lie.
lucas to garden city was done in a weird way. we should’ve turned in hays but drove through hays for kicks instead and then went to ellis where we were told that oakley then south was the easiest way. which is a lie. so we drove out to oakley on i70 then south a lot until we got to garden city. we orginially went to garden city for this vietnamese restaurant and the joke on tonya. but we were zizeked a little because the vietnamese restaurant was closed. but i still felt really satisfied. i didn’t want the vietnamese food anymore i just wanted to be in garden city. so we arbitrarily chose a mexican restaurant that was amazing and had really phenomenal service. the el camino even had a vegetarian combinations section. i was a happy little camper. at this point we were foucaulted when we selfpoliced ourselves from attempting to hit on the waitress because we care about our significant others and they could find out.
garden city to topekapost mexican food we drove back to topeka and this time took the “short way”. we were a little concerned that it took us at least 2 hours more to get out to garden city than it should have even give our huge detour to lucas and back. so we went through dodge and hwy-50 was just a fucking mess. it was so snowy out there and i could barely tolerate it plus joe had to just guess and check drive because we’d never seen the highway in daylight to know what it was like. and we couldn’t see it at all in the night. good thing western kansas = no trees = no deer.
we got pretty insane trying to deal with the snow.. i made a few phone calls to figure out exactly which way we were going and as soon as we were on hwy-56 that wasn’t also hwy-50 it wasn’t as bad and by i-183 it was barely raining but we could see the raod again. Little did we know, things were about to go terribly awry.
joe almost ran a stopsign when the visibility was still really low but stopped when he saw it and i announced that he should probably stop. as we stop we note a state trooper turning to go the opposite way on the highway. but no big deal. because almost not stopping is not a crime. but joe has this thing where he looks at medians as “suggestions”. and he may or may not have swerved past it a few times. thus we get pulled over. and the trooper comes up and is talking to us and pretty much convinced we’re drunk. because we can’t explain to our friends that really know us why we’re going to garden city let alone an officer of the law. then we realize that joe doesn’t have his proof of insurance because he cleaned his car and this got taken inside during the cleaning. we also can’t get the glove compartment open so we become positive that it is in there. and the cop takes joe’s missouri license (funny story, joe had two because they never switched his missouri car registration to kansas which they were supposed to do…) and the cop goes away. in the meantime i manage to break the door off of the glove compartment, of course discovering no insurance, so joe and i shove the door back on and just pretend that we never got it open in the first place. the cop comes back after a long time and asks joe if he has a kansas license. joe throws around some bullshit about him not knowing if it were in affect yet and we get off with a warning for failure to maintain a lane. problem: joe’s missouri license is confiscated which sucks because some people were only friends with joe because he had two licenses.
by this point in the trip we became both awake and still really retarded. so we were pretty much like idiot savants where our savant was that we could stay awake and say really stupid things for long amounts of time.
again, it was about the funnest thing ever.
in abilene, we also went to the adult superstore and pretended to be brother and sister kind of. basically he just called me sis and asked if mom would like certain kinds of lubricant. lol. it was a great time.