the place i felt i had a soul

Steve is speaking to me again and hanging out with me again. this is good because i didn’t really eat when he didn’t. So yeah. My body is trying to get renourished (slightly unsuccessfuly, i add) and so is my ch’i. We went to yoga today as was supposed to be our normal tuesday-thursday plan and exercised. i really like yoga. it just makes me feel a lot better about myself and the world around me and i actually do acheive a feeling of peace. although today i was really restless for the first part of it and coudlnt’ really focus on the breathing or any of the relaxing parts.. instead just being mildly upset that downward dog hurt a lot more than usual or that having my arms float up hurt a lot more than it should of as well. hrm. strange days in the world of yoga. by the end of the hour i’d given into peace and i felt a lot better about things. i like yoga a lot because it reminds me that i have this physical strength that i don’t always pay attention to. like that my bones and stuff will align correctly if i just let them settle that way and that slouching doesn’t have to be the most comfortable way to sit. also, that i can do things in regards to flexibility and strength that i don’t pay attention to. and it all comes from me. you know? just my body moving that way to recognize and focus on the strength. i love it. and it makes me feel stronger emotionally too. because its like i have this well of force inside of me and i can take control of things and moreso that i can get peace away from things that i’m uncomfortable in. its like drunk, but in a much more constructive way.

• Category: Journal