All things go
Mom gave us our valentine’s day gifts tonight. For obvious reasons, they’re a bit belated. That is not the point.
The point is that my mom got my brother and I the same thing?some Russell Stover chocolates. Now, these chocolates come in a tin that is shaped like a heart and made to look like the cover of a manhole. I thought it was great. Because I like shiny things and this is very shiny. Then, my brother comes in and points out that the side brags that these gifts are “just for him.” Which sparks my interest. One, I’m a little nervous about what mom is trying to say… but more importantly than that… I’m a little weirded out that we can’t get boys just normal chocolates in red heart-shaped boxes. Plus, the box is still freaking heart shaped! What the hell! There’s no way the box somehow becomes MORE heterosexual. So the next thing i do is open the box. There, I find something even more fascinating. 13 chocolates. THIRTEEN. My mom paid 10 dollars for this box. For like 8 bucks she could’ve gotten me like infinity chocolates. Of course then… I wouldn’t have this uber-masculine box.
Oh Valentine’s Day. You are approximately the best holiday ever.