I have bangs now. Pretty crazy, I’ll admit. And I’m not sure that I’ve adjusted to them or even that I like them yet, but I think I do. I kind of look like a bizarrely feminine boy, which is a good way to look if you’re me and it’s summer and you’re aiming for androgyny anyway.
Plus, we’ve been going to the pool a lot and this way it won’t get in my eyes like those long layery bangs I was sporting before.
Also known as a big gay clown. Which is pretty much how I looked all day. Evidence:
I biked to J&B today and worked a while on my training module for intercultural communications. Basically have not that much left to do. Yay! And I present on Monday which means I’m officially done with the semester after my morning classes on Tuesday. I just have to show up to IC the following Monday and listen to other proposal and module presentations. Hooray. Also, it was in the 90s today and it is starting to smell like summer. This is all the most excellent news.
I think it’s odd how the trees bloom here. It’s been tree-blooming weather for probably a month and a half and the trees are just starting to bloom. Likely, because they’re all transplants from other places and don’t grow naturally here, so they grown on a schedule that doesn’t seem to be affected by weather. Either that, or they just like to play it really, really safe. I don’t blame them, given that they’re going to have to make it through the summer without much moisture..
After our trip yesterday, I felt like a bike ride so I headed out from the parking lot and biked to campus, where I took Kyle dinner. I carried a pizza box on my bike without much trouble! I’m awesome. It was a pretty great ride and I spent about an hour and a half from when we returned to the museum to when I got home. It was a really great ride, and I feel only a little sore today. Plus, I didn’t struggle at all on my ride, it was smooth and enjoyable. I think I will try it again today or tomorrow.
Yesterday, we drove to San Angelo, Texas to visit the San Angelo Museum of Fine Art. The visit was arranged by my Museum Education professor who truly goes above and beyond what the course catalog for the class asks of her. I wish there was a place on her evaluations for us to relay this information, but I guess I’ll have to write it in myself. I’m sure I’ll reflect more on this trip later in the form of topical musings on the different ideas I picked up there, but for now I just want to say that the trip was really excellent.
The museum sits on the river in a really hip, new building reminiscent of a warehouse. The architect is quite fond of masonry so the interior and exterior feature raw limestone from different depths of the quarry. It really adds for a nice affect as the museum building is an asset to the educational mission of the museum. Or at least, it could be. And given that on the tour of the director, the relationship of the limestone to the region and the design was explained to me, I believe it must be. As you may have been able to guess in the measly two posts featured so far on this blog, I love architecture. Love, love, love architecture, especially in the context of museum design. If done correctly, the museum building can be the first object in a museum’s collection. At SAMFA, this is accomplished really well.
I also love how the museum functions within the community. It provides, with the city of San Angelo, a beautiful river walk near an amphitheater. They have event space that overlooks the walk, a kitchen, and a strip of storefronts that offer an education center and a community gallery. The two spaces in between the education center and the gallery will soon be an apartment and studio for an artist-in-residency. Also on the museum campus, a building with a larger education studio, a clay studio and kilns for San Angelo State’s ceramics.
San Angelo is located directly between two interstates, about one-hundred miles from either, but it’s certainly worth the visit. I’m sure future exhibits will be great, but I’m fond of the ones I saw yesterday and may be coercing my friends into a trip back where we can spend more time looking at art and less thinking about The Museum in theory.
I had a dream last night that I gave birth. It was odd because I don’t quite remember being pregnant during the dream at all and also because I was very bitter that I did not get any time to bond with the baby after birth. Who knows why that happened? I maybe watched one SVU with a fetus in it, but that baby died before birth so it doesn’t really make much of any sense at all.
Last night, I finished an entire final project. I’m pretty proud of myself, as you can guess I might be. Our final project for Museum Interpretation and Communication is to either a) make a brochure, b) create a pachyderm about a subject (pachyderm is this really kind of stupid flash template that is too limiting for me to enjoy), or c) design a website. So design a website I did. I basically just took the layout of my new blog overhaul that I’ve been working on, converted it from the php wordpress template that it is to an html document, changed the colors, changed the masthead, and added content and 8 other pages to fulfill the assignment.
Even though it wasn’t exactly the project that was weighing on my mind… I’m glad to have it done. Here’s to the rest of the week being equally productive!
On Tuesday, the Smithsonian Institution selected a winning design among the five finalists for the National Museum of African American History and Culture, slated to open in 2015 on the National Mall. The design chosen was submitted by David Adjaye, a Tanzanian-born architect. And rather than steal copyright images, I’ll just post a link to the New York Times slideshow to catch you all up to date with the designs submitted and greater detail on the one chosen.
I must admit, the winning design was not my favorite among the five. Having dwelled on the subject for a few weeks, I decided that the Norman Foster design was my favorite. What I like about the Norman Foster design is that it really looks like a reworking of the giant, monolithic buildings that I associate with the national mall. The design blended the traditional details of the classical and neo-classical buildings on the Mall with new, modern designs. It really communicated a sense of “we did this and now we’re going to try something different.” Perhaps, I just like visual consistency a little more than I should.
That said, I really like the Adjaye design too. Among the submissions I saw, the chosen design was my second favorite. There’s definitely something to be said for the abandonment of the classical design elements in the other buildings. And I like that the shift in design strategies among Smithsonian Institution designs will begin with the NMAAHC. It creates a good break in chronology of the institutions.
Plus, I’m a huge proponent of buildings being included in the museums collection. As the first exposure of any sort to the museum’s mission and the values it espouses, I think the building is really key in enhancing the experience. Most architecture that originated for the purpose of housing museums and their collections have embraced this idea. Of course, that lead to buildings that perpetuated the idea of museums as large, uninviting institutions. Perhaps, it’s time that the national museums break away from that mold and begin to seek out more inviting, modern designs, as I think the Smithsonian Institution seems to conjure, at least in my mind, buildings more similar to the National Museum of American History rather than any of the new NMAAHC design. Perhaps, the Adjaye design is the ideal building to catalyze this change.
So school has been exceptionally busy. Weeks seem to fly by and I always feel like it’s about to be Friday. My history of Islam class has turned out really well, I enjoy it a lot. The others too. But that one I’m enjoying because we read so much. I need to get a proposal together for the historiography assignment but I’m not quite sure if I’m going to be able to write it on the topic I’m interested in. It seems that when scholars have written about Sierra Leone, they’ve not paid the most attention to the Lebanese living there. And most of the good scholarship that does look at that aspect is in french. So I can read it but I can’t really share it and I’m not sure I comprehend french well enough to translate it for quotations and stuff yet. Maybe I should do a more straight-forward topic.
It’s spring break now and then we have basically one month left of class. I have two five-ish page papers due the first week back so I’m not too relaxed, although I do need to take a day or two off. I’m going to El Paso for a conference and I’m sort of dejected that we’ll be gone for so long. I’m driving down there with a group of three other girls and they want to be there for the entire conference and I’m not quite as sold on that idea. I’d rather leave wednesday morning and come back thursday night or so. Maybe friday. I just don’t want to leave at 7 a.m. on Tuesday and not come back until late Friday. I really need all that time to get some work done. It’s stressing me out like whoa just thinking about it.
So, I leave Tuesday, and Kyle leaves Thursday for nationals. Which means as of Tuesday, early, we will be apart for two full weeks for the first time since probably last April? If that. Maybe March. It sucks. But it makes me realize how happy I am that we live together and not far apart now. Long distance relationships are no fun.
I’m planning on redesigning the content presentation of my website. I would like to possibly eventually turn it into a portfolio, maybe through a url with my name or something of the sort, of all of the various things I do. I want to start taking and publishing more photos for the sake of amateur photography. I have a holga. That is the best thing to do. I want to create a digital recipe archive, a sort of digital cafe, of all of the delicious things that Kyle and I cook. I want to start reflecting on more important issues than what I did with my day. I’m sure that I’ll always keep a blog similar to the format of this one. I started blogging at opendiary when I was 14. It’s just engrained in me at this point. More than half of the time that I’ve been able to write, I’ve invested my journalling energy on the blogosphere. But, I realize, I’m somewhat outside of it. I want to be able to use this domain to communicate with more than a few of strangers and some close friends. I’d like to let people in my family know that it exists. I think it could help keeping in touch and those sorts of things. So expect a content redesign soon. Although, I must say, I’m obsessed with this ugly color combination I’m using so might as well keep it up.
Class and things are going very well. I’m enjoying the intellectual stimulation for a change and I especially like my Islam class. I’m really enjoying being in the groove of friendships. I started going to the local coffee shop and that has somewhat helped. I don’t know that I realized how much I feel like I fit in when I start recognizing people I don’t know from places that we both tend to frequent. Maybe I’m just part of an unfortunate generation overexposed to Friends, but I think it’s more about loving the familiar.
Kyle has been in San Diego this week for a debate tournament. I think he had a good time, and I sure missed him. It’s nice to have the apartment to myself so I can sleep in easier in the mornings and get things done at my own pace with no regard for someone else’s plans or needs, but when it comes down to it, I miss him dearly. I’ve been very nostalgic lately for the early days of when we were first dating. Our two years of being committed to each other relationship is this week and I think I’m just considering what it’s been like getting to know him and letting him get to know me. I really feel blessed, we’re so happy.
i ache for memories i’ve never lived.
you, curled into my shoulder
while the cool breezes of morning
dance through our window
blowing loose pages gently across our floor
our pants bunched uncomfortably against our thighs
after tossing and turning through the night
so, we take them off
later, the burdensome bundling in coats
to help you carry stacks of books
down the creaky steps of a brownstone
only to retreat from the cold, then
retreat from the warmth and settle in.
comfortable jeans and oversized sweatshirts
well-crafted novels by authors undiscovered
a pen holding my hair from my face
and your return.
i ache for the memory of your return,
a memory i never lived
the slow, sultry click of the clock like a metronome
carrying my life along a rhythm,
a rhythm that you do not—that
you could not—follow, on the
unfamiliar instruments you play now to
keep your hands busy.
i could never concern myself enough
with the needs of your hands to
keep you.
i could never concern myself enough
with the needs of your hands to
keep you complacent.
Preface: After I suggested to Duker that 25 things are somewhat stupid and that we should do Proust Questionnaires instead, he did just that and said as his preface, ” I stole this idea from Jess _____, who stole it from Vanity Fair, who stole it from somebody else, etc. At some point Marcel Proust was probably involved.” Just so you know, I stole the idea from a coffee table book about the Olsen twins. Also, I’m choosing to answer these questions secularly for the most point as I feel that the religious answers would obviously dominate many of the questions and would be to-an-extent pre-packaged.
1.What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Usually this happens at the Foundry or McCoys or somewhere in between Kansas City and Topeka, but as soon as I go back to the way-greater Kansas City area and sit down for dinner with all of the people I love most, I’m filled with the purest sense of happiness I’ve ever known. I’d love for all of my groups of people to be re-uinted somewhere nice in the future. I miss everyone dearly.
2.What is your greatest fear?
Rape with the instrument of penetration being a gun. Terrifies me. Also, after having seen the orphanage, that I will have a child, like it, and it will turn out poorly.
3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Irrational emotiveness. Not all the time, but sometimes when I get really upset about something I just can’t stop emotions that I can see at the time as being irrational. So I try to just convince people I should be left alone and not forced to talk about my feelings until my feelings aren’t crazy, but you know how people are. They’re pushy.
4.What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Dullness.
5.Which living person do you most admire?
I think there is something very admirable about all of my friends and the people I surround myself in my life. I like people who I feel like we have something to learn from each other. Maybe our next conversation will be filled with silence and maybe it will teach one or both of us something we’d never have imagined by ourselves.
6.What is your greatest extravagance?
Sushi.
7.What is your current state of mind?
Healthy. Lately, I’ve been balancing a discussion I had with a doctor about psychiatry and a slew of readings about Islam, ideas I’ve been exposed to via Big Love marathons, hang-ups I’ve always had with churches, and my understanding of Catholicism to better explore my own religion. It’s nice to look for religion from inside of it. I’m not positive I’ve done that before.
8.What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Impartiality. I like Justice though, so don’t get me wrong. I just love a little bias sometimes.
9.On what occasion do you lie?
I think in high school I got into the habit of lying to my mom about little things, like if I was going out to eat I would say that I was doing something else, to avoid a fight about something that we’re just going to disagree on. Sometimes, I find myself still doing it, in part because her arguing with me about whether or not I should go out to eat has not stopped and in part out of habit or to make sure I’m still good at it.
10.What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I wish my eyebrows were more feminine, but I could wax them to get them that way and I don’t and they’re not that bad, they just are not-waxed so I doubt I consider it that big of a deal. Also, I would like to lose some weight. But that’s because of clothes. I still think I look good naked.
11.Which living person do you most despise?
I think underhandedness and hypocrisy are despicable. I do not like anyone who relies on these traits to enjoy their own successes.
12.What is the quality you most like in a man?
Loyalty.
13.What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Loyalty.
14.Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I like to say “so hard.” instead of “so much.”
15.What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Kyle. This answer is also pre-packaged and obvious, but I also believe it to be true.
16.When and where were you happiest?
Some of those early days at James’ house. I felt like I was at my social peak and I knew it. It is some of my first memories of being overall and generally happy. My wedding day and the pre-party, the reception, and the after-party are certainly the most fun I’ve ever had. I was really happy then.
17.Which talent would you most like to have?
I want a better singing voice. I used to have one that was better or at least had potential, but then I only listened to some combination of screamo and Ani Difranco until I graduated high school so it went away.
18.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I were once again a prolific poet.
19.What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I had a conversation with Dudley the other day about how I hate this question in interviews. I usually say that I’m a first-generation college graduate in my immediate family and I find that to be significant. Honestly, I expect the best out of myself so in order for me to view something as a greatest achievement I would have to be expecting failure from the onset or doing better than the best that I had expected. I don’t think that’s a bad trait, necessarily.
20.If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Something handmade, inanimate only in the sense that it could not speak words on its own behalf, something that warms or adds uniqueness to a room. Maybe folk art. Specifically, a J.R. Dickinson sculpture.
21.Where would you most like to live?
Chicago, Pennsylvania, New York, San Francisco. I am undecided.
22.What is your most treasured possession?
My oldest copy of Alice in Wonderland. I love how it smells like it lived in a house where my grandfather smoked pipes. I love that it was clearly drawn in by my mother and aunts and uncle. I love the memory of the secret thrill I got when I would sneak into storage and look at it before I finally brought it upstairs to read it when I was a freshman in high school. Also, our copy of Lives of the Saints.
23.What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A feeling that your death would go unnoticed. I think there’s a reason that undergoing a process of unexistence is the classical interpretation of Hell.
24.What is your favorite occupation?
Writer. Sort of in the independent historian branch of things.
25.What is your most marked characteristic?
My humor.
26.What do you most value in your friends?
Their senses of humor. As far as I’m concerned, you get one area in which if someone makes a joke about that you are allowed to cry. Mine is animal abuse. Other than that, learn to take a joke.
27.Who are your favorite writers?
Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hardy, Block
28.Who is your hero of fiction?
Witch Baby from the Dangerous Angels series by Francesca Lia Block in my youth and Novinha from the Ender’s Game series by Orson Scott Card in my adulthood.
29.Which historical figure do you most identify with?
St. Therese Little Flower. Since I was little, though, I’ve always thought that if I was reincarnated, it’s more likely that I am the reincarnation of someone completely unknown.
30.Who are your heroes in real life?
My parents, in their own respects. Michael Crabtree.
31.What are your favorite names?
Abigail Lorraine. Thomas Andrew. I have more names for restaurants I hope to open with Kyle in a pipe dream than I do names for our children. It’s just a fact.
32.What is it that you most dislike?
In terms of things that are not ideas, Olives. Hands down.
33.What is your greatest regret?
In most cases, I only regret what I didn’t do.
34.How would you like to die?
Maybe I’m supposed to say how meaning of what, in which case, I hope I die of natural causes in old age. I also believe that between my intake of trans-fats and aspartame, I will be so well-preserved that I’m likely to go on living at least .01% even when I am legally dead.
35.What is your motto?
“The worst that can happen is adventures.” — T-Rex, Qwantz Comics by Ryan North
“Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.” — Kurt Vonnegut
