its a train ride
i had a relatively bad day.. i was mostly just sad an unsociable for most of it. i think it happened when we were talking about love in english and i was kind of cornered about talking about my mom and this summer and that wasn’t very coool. but they didn’t mean to corner me so it was alright but still i was hella-uncomfortable and then i felt bad about what little i did say cos i couldn’t fix it all without telling it all. and i really didn’t want to tell it all. so anyway. that happened. and then i made a bad catholic joke that really shocked me and i’m not sure where it came from cos usually i try to not bash religion but i said it and then i felt just horrible and really wanted to fuck off. so that’s what i did for the rest of the day. less porn-talks with brian in seminar.. i just read all day cos when i wasn’t reading i felt like crying. and even when i was reading i still felt like crying.
i read this book called empress of the world by sara ryan that was pretty mediocre. the story was cute and it was exactly what i wanted to read.. very light lesbian teen fiction but it made me sad about madeline (again, arhg). the writing wasn’t much to talk about. it flowed well and was well written and i’m sure the author could go far with it but it just wasn’t worth a whole lot. it wasn’t annie on my mind. but what fucking is annie on my mind except for that book. nancy garden = my noncelebrity crush.
we had a mock model un (!!) tonight in lawrence that was fun and cheered me up. although i must say that spending an evening with joe and nick is kinda strange. lol. they’re both hella nice guys though and we really get along which is all that i really need in a relationship of any sort. nick’s really catholic and they’re both really liberal (silly boys) i don’t know. i had a good time. joe’s a really nice guy. i’m glad i’ve gotten to know him through model un. ah. sigh.