you were a light at my feet,
guiding my path
seconds turn to minutes—
then hours, days, weeks, fortnights, months
you lit my path.
you were a reason to
(Free from reason) step
a simple object to look, wait try
i did it all alone, i did it
for you
when i reached you finally,
you were bright (too)
so bright that you couldn’t see me
now out of my lantern you fled
and i could step again.
“i only like girly-girls” and its okay because its true and i can’t fight you for it and in this sense its the best compliment i’ve ever gotten because i don’t want to be like other girls and i won’t axe you when you walk away so its alright and we’re still friends and now that’s all and i guess that’s good but i’m too vain to let it go; maybe i should die. and maybe i should quit trying to push and pull and hide away from her. cos she’s not a girly girl either. but she might axe me if i walk away.
‘course she might do that anyway.
just for kicks.
i don’t think i could love you
even if one time i thought i did
we’re not right for each other
and i’ve known it all along
usually i just think that i could never love anyone but her
and i’m right when i say it
so i don’t know why i try to force
myself to love other people
and i don’t love anyone
but her
and she fades away so easily that i’m afraid to reach out for her
note: mads. the first and most of the third stanza are not about you so please don’t think that they are.
i’m so tired of this scholarship essay. i can’t get the damn thing to fucking work. it really blows. but hey. if i do get it to work and i get it done in 29 minutes (or less as i have to be at work in 29 minutes and its at least a 3 minute drive) then it would be nice to have the money. gooooooooood. i’m so fucking tired and i never ever get to sleep.. ::shakes head::
thank god for scanners that can scan into documents. that’s gotta be the coolest thing ever.
why a broken heart hurts so much
so msnbc is reporting that theres actually a physical explanation for being hurt when you’re upset emotionally. hardcore man. i’m glad there is some sort of explanation. but who gave emo kids a job?
i’m tired and i went 2-3 today but i did really well speaks wise. and i got to talk to flo on the way home about how she likes america and misconceptions about the united states. i really wish we didn’t appear so bad to other countries. i mean some of us have good intentions.
also, i redid my archive page so that its more functional now. look for a new i&p layout soon. and clamor too (shh. clayton).
i saw saves the day with p-money last night. we had a great time. spent most of the night with sarah, whitney, cj, that quiet kid from school, jj, and chrissy. or krissy. or whatever you spell it like. anyway. it was a fabulous show. afterward i got to hug eben. did i mention i
please don’t to this, i’m begging, pleading and the kicks come swiftly and too the soft parts of the body. stomach. stomach. stomach. stomach. face. and my face is soft because of all of the tears i haven’t been crying it just melts away. it blows away in the wind and you just watch, laughingly. you: ‘look at that girl, she said “i love you” and i could never ever love her.’ you said the words back to me and kicked me in the middle of the brain.
i have no heart. you ripped it out.
i could dedicate a whole phrase to you,
and the part of your spine that cuts through your lower back like a river.
maybe it would be alright if i liked you now.
maybe it would be alright if i spit out the words.
