it goes away
i don’t feel happy anymore.
when you talk down
everytime you talk to me
i feel a little bit smaller
happy and you know it
i thought i’d blog because i’m happy right now and all of my blogs are like “hey look i’mbitching again.” anyway. i spent my drive home being all crazy and wanting to speed terribly. there was also a point in the night when i wanted to stop and jump off the topeka blvd. bridge. more for fun than death (i said it was happy.) it was just fun i was driving and playing random cds and screaming the lyrics with the windows down and watching everything happen and it was all so great.
i start working with svd next week. i can’t wait. she’s such a fun girl and gosh erin+me+svd, eric’s gonna regret that one.
willie nelson (the artist, not the dog) is coming to town in november. i want to go more than i’ve ever wanted to go to any thing else at tpac ever.
i guess my happy entry is just me rambling about really random shit. but i did find a new addiction to crossword puzzles today. oh god its fun. i almost finished the one in the kansan with erin tonight at work. i’m so sad that i wasn’t able to. but i suppose that it happens and i should just learn to deal with it.
everything is really crazy and rushing together right now. shrug.
its all history
i wrote my favorite lyrics to one of your favorite songs and you illustrated them and passed it back to me, drawing the story of how hard we tried. and you and i would never try at all. instead we’d just float. just exist. near each other sometimes. and we were only supposed to be friends and i came about learning that the hard way. because we never tried at all. and i never tried at all. and you never tried at all. we only tried to push each other away. and we succeeded. you’re so gone now, i don’t even remember your face. but what about that photograph you say and i say nothing. because you didn’t say a thing. maybe this was all just in my head and you were never real all along.
ex-best
i could call you fatally flawed to your face
and you’d know exactly what i mean
but you know i’m not that happy
and i don’t drive a brand new suv
maybe its that you have what i want
or maybe you want what i need
there’s just something about you
maybe you’re satisfied
how could you be satisfied
but you’ve got so many exbestfriends
you could never call them all
and you have only one real friend
but she never calls you at all
but you’ve got so many exbestfriends
you could never call them all
before you decided to die
and catch-up is a game for the awkward, anyway
and we’re awkward, anyway
willie nelson everybody
we got a new foster-dog for a while. his name is willie nelson and he’s really cute and cuddly. he bites sort of though, but its really cute about him. i like him a lot. he’s nice and he sleeps at my feet right now. he’s keeping them warm. go him. he did try to eat my computer cord which would’ve been bad for both of us (it was plugged in at the time).
i’m really looking hard for some good hostees. if anyone knows of them or wants a subdomain themselves, send them my way. i’m a pretty decent hostess, so i think. i mean as long as you don’t try to eat my stuff i’ll let you have a bone (willie reference again.)
how cool is it that the dog is called willie nelson?
school was really fucking boring today. i couldn’t even get a good nap in. agh. i didn’t take too many hard stories for clipper though. i think i have one about alex/ali and a few editorials and a soccer story. soccer should be the hard one. but the editorials are easy enough.
i’m officially starting the leftist opinion site. i’m excited about it. its something to do when i don’t feel like doing what i should be doing (isn’t that all the time). i think it has a good opportunity of being a decent website though. and i’m going to link all the fun lefty sites too. thanks to riley for those.
twenty percent
i’d say i’m sorry and i’d look you in the eyes and tell you the whole truth and i’d realize that you’d probably only heard 20% of what i said from anyone else and that it might hurt you so you might only pay attention to 20% of what i was saying and then i’d tell you i was sorry, again but that it really wasn’t my place to change anything, that i was sorry but its not my fault i’m better and that i was sorry but i can’t tell you the truth because i don’t even know it anymore and i can’t tell you the truth because i only remember about 20% of it and its a completely distorted 20% at that. i’m sorry. i’d say. i can’t tell you anything because i don’t feel bad about what happened to you. and you’d ask me why i wrecked into your car and i’d apologize for doing it but say that i don’t know. but you’d know. its only me that doesn’t know anything.
undercover
i’ve been depressed today. i don’t have much else to add to that. who needs her meds? me. that’s right. there’s a new layout up though. go jess.