Author: Jess

for the record, i do not have any school spirit. i did, however, come to school today. not skipping the pep assembly. while i stood in the back waiting to hand out clippers and didn’t actually sent in the stands i was there I WAS THERE and as clayton said today, “That’s about all we can expect out of you.” so go me for being there.

I gave Josh the book this morning, i wrapped it in an old clipper that had wade on the page and i wrote “happy birthday joshie” in a speech bubble out of wade’s mouth. josh was happy with the present. he had to give me a hug because he was so happy and he said that for my birthday i can expect al franken’s book. yay for al franken. and yay for josh appreciating liberal propaghanda. mweh-heh.

Its the first home game of my senior year and i’m not going. i might go next game but probably not, you never know. games are lame. i hate them. except i really love them cuz they’re fun and its cool outside and that’s really all that’s great about them but the sport is fun too. its just that i don’t like football players and the ones i do like don’t get to play. less kyle, whom i like. and i need to call eventually, but i’ve been saying that for years.

and the world series is just under 2 months away. YAY WORLD SERIES!. everything makes me want to laugh menancingly.

except that i was late for work. which was really lame. i woke up at 7:26 and was like “what time is it? is it really 7:26. fuck it’s 7:26” so i ran out of the house and went here and called on the way and almost wrecked into a truck because some terrorist in an f150 decided he should turn left when i was going straight and obviously speeding. asshole. bah. so i made it here alright which is the important thing and i was only about 10 minutes late and no one was mad. but i was still pissed. i’m sure it has something to do with my being up till 1 last night on the phone with the girl because she texted me at 12:30 and was all weird and the words “so i am letting you go” were in there in different orders and i was scared so i called and she was all “i’m breaking up with you, i just can’t do it.” and i started crying hysterically at which point she decided she wasn’t breaking up with me. so i got no good sleep last night. and then was tired all day.

dammit.

i think i’m going to start my own political comentary subdomain called in perspective. that’d be fun. i also have to put the picture machine up sometime and put the web cam sectionut before that happens. so who knows what i’ll ACTUALLY end up doing. but i think political commentary could be really hardcore. erik’s birthday is in 2 days. i’m going to send him something.. itll be late by about a week prolly but it’ll be fun. so yah. rock on. now i just have to figure out what to get him. dun dun dun. who knows…

work is pretty boring tonight. i just feel like sleeping. but lewis black is on the daily show and i can watch that when i get home, which is fun. at least kim tells me he is and they always show the same episode at 12 as they did at 10. last night i got to watch reno 911. that show = better than strangers with candy. was that the name of that one show? shrug.

alas, i finally have time to blog. i never have time for anything these days. tuesday and today i didn’t/won’t really be home at all. on tuesday i had school then clipper (till 4) then a debate “dog and pony show” traditionally known as the baylor clinic and then work from 7:30 till 11:30. tonight i had a guitar lesson at 4 a meeting for TYC at 6 and work now at 7:30. i’ll get off at 11:30. it’s a good thing this is a nice quiet place with a comfy chair and a desk to do my homework at (or install photoshop 7 thnx clayton and a bunch of fonts). i have so much to do. im totally overwhelmed. ::hiss::

and i forgot my meds today. i think i talk about them too much though. like i’m happy that i have to take all the medication. i think i just need people to keep me accountable and be like “yah dog take your pills.” so that i don’t quit again because i have all those fucking nightmares about random things and then i can’t drive right (last night i dreamt that i was in a car accident) or lacey wrecks after i dream that she dies and i see tommy after i dream about him. not to mention the scary dreams about rape. i don’t know what to think about the whole ordeal i just wish it would stop. i hate not trusting people and driving slow and stopping way behind the line. i didn’t know you could get that feeling that everything is over in a dream. dammit. maybe i should’ve okayed that dps. er. nope.

clipper is going really well i think. i’ve gotten over my bitterness about josh being editor. i don’t really have the time anyway and now i can have none of the responsibility of being editor and its all okay. honestly, i’m overwhelmed. i don’t need that. and i do so much that if a college doesn’t think i should get their money because i wasn’t clipper editor then they’re missing out (on what, a french club president, math club president, debator, ASS. editor, website designer, two-job working girl? don’t forget that i’m emotionally unstable at times, but only at times… psha. and last but not least! my driving record). everything is so rambly. back to clipper. so i’m okay with josh being editor and me being ass. and i’m okay with the staff even if we’re all dykes, josh, or cross country kids. ::shakes head:: the other day josh was in between the two groups and the girls were discussing oral sex (“licking the kitty?” christ amber..) and whether or not jessica w’s breasts grew over the summer while the boys were talking about how fasts their trucks go and whether or not the cheifs will make the playoffs. josh sat quietly in the middle pretending not to hear. (we call that .. pulling a neiman.) hah. they’re all so great though. maybe we could plan a flannel swap for the next layout night. giggle.

i saw sam today which reminded me that i need to call her. and i need to talk to mr. godfrey. and i need to call lexington, talk to sittenauer about a ride on the 10th, talk to sittenauer, fries, alexander, horton, vinduska about recruiting youth council members. i also need most of two weeks from now off. dammit dammit. dammit.

the only really good news of the weeks is that i got a 93 on my first government test. go me. i also did a good job on the essay which made me happy because i had to think of all of those examples right then and there. even if one is my aff case (secret) and the other is my big obsession (Kyoto) and the third is my last year second semester point of hostility (2000 elections). bam. and i got a 51 on “how liberal or conservative are you?” survey in government too. which means that i’m bob-dylan-and-janis-joplin liberal. joshie thinks that i’m actually worse than that. but he would.

speaking of josh for the 3rd time, i got him a copy of greg palast’s The Best Democracy Money Can Buy for his birthday. hahahaha. i hope he’s happy with it. i’m sure he won’t be. but maybe i’ll gain some republican propaghanda for mine. heh. while i was out (in between the guitar lesson and the TYC meeting) i also bought Moneen’s album. i like it a lot.. i’m recommending it to jarod first chance i get cuz its really fucking good. especially this one song. and i get to see them in concert.

i need to go install fonts and pour my little soul into new photoshop versions (oh god…)

new saves the day and i’ve got tickets! i could cry i’m so happy. but i could also cry because my three favorite boys are so sad. everyones so fucking sad.
but i’ve got tickets.. woosh.

i also have my period which explains the mood swings.

i’ve been having terrible moodswings today. i was pretty manic for a few hours then i was depressed then i was just anxious and now i’m back to depressed and i feel sort of anxious. i’m so starting my meds again tonight. from the nightmares to the moodswings, being off of them at all was just a terrible terrible idea. my moods need to be stabilizing.

other than that i have not much to say. i spent all day yesterday with madeline and i had a wonderful time. i don’t know what i’d do without her. and we hung out with steph+boyfriend and he’s real cool. i like him a lot. so go my approval! hah.

speaking of stephs i saw the cunty one today at cd tradepost. i was going to ask her how that sand in her vagina was but i decided not to because i felt bad for her being so insecure with herself and not being able to have sugar and all. but its her own damn fault for not taking care of herself. i know plenty of nice people that can’t have sugar. she just isn’t one of them. shrug.

I hate the school computers. I just hate them. They had the whole entire fucking summer off and yet they’re still dumbfucks that can’t get anything done. Im in the computer lab in the library and there are only two available here and one of them won’t load the internet and the other won’t print, and of course we don’t have access to the chooser so i can’t just make it print and i’ll have to log out and it’ll be dumb and the debator kids (one of them) is getting on my nerves. oh well. i suppose i’ll be okay. i really just dread clipper. i can’t get anything done in there because all of the juniors are so loud and its not that i think that they’re bad or anything just that they’re very obnoxious all the time and they kept yelling yesterday and friday and it really sucks because i can get nothing done when they’re being that loud and i haven’t even interviewed one person about that story that i have to do and i’m probably going to get in trouble for it today. why do i do this to myself? tschus. (sorry mads)