Author: Jess

when we’re on the phone and my voice is racing quickly across the telephone wires through wire through satelites through wire through satelites and you’re hearing me in realtime while i’m seeing what just happened and not paying attention to anything but my voice. and i’m wishing so hard that it would just fucking go away so that you could talk because your voice is so refreshing, like the tapping of the champagne glass to begin a toast at a wedding or ceremony it might be long (i hope so) and some parts may be funny or bittersweet but its so exciting because its the beginning, still i’m tired of starting anew.
?

we might just be emo kids cheering up, p-money. or i start to think this and then we walk farther into our forests and fields we stood up and our knees were dirty and your shoes were still breathing and mine were still squeaking and we couldn’t tell the difference between before and after but something had almost changed between us. then, we sat reflecting on a bench in the breeze. i was thinking i should come here more often because i could write freely and you were thinking about whatever boys think about when there is silence and the girl isn’t putting out (perhaps nothing) so my hand found yours and my other one was playing with this plant that was growing next to the bench that held us. then, i let the plant go and continued to hold your hand, noticing that the plant sprung back into its original place so easily while it was so frail. i don’t spring back like that. and the plants (all of them) were leaning towards the sun. i like the way plants lean, i say. they lean toward the sun, you say. i think people lean, i say. toward what? you ask. i don’t know, whatever, i guess., i say. and i lean my head on your shoulder. you feel warm like the sun.

in one expanded — sentence i’ll explain to you, just sit tight and listen, but you’ll know by the end i promise you’ll understand how you worked your way under my fingernails like dirt and i fell for you in one — thought i let myself want you, you see you were standing there not in the light, and then in the light and you were sort of jumping back and forth and talking rather quickly being bitter while i was bitter about you and what your victories had meant to my record but the shadows accented your face in the dark, and the sun made your eyes and hair sparkle in the light, and my heart in all of its pitterpattering thoughts jumped, just a little, from the light to the dark and i liked you but its still to be continued… in another sentence somewhere… somewhere in a crowded room, i was with you, and you were there but i didn’t think you were with me quite perhaps because we were pretending to be enemies and things were weird then because we were our best friends there and thus passing notes like well, two allies might, or girlfriends might and taking hugs from each other like they were the most necessary thing to an enemy foil keeping you close seemed so natural that i kept myself wondering about you and where you might be for the rest of the day, looking forward to your face in the light and then come to find out you like me, but that too was later… in a new sentence… you were not there this time but we had a mutual friend to take care of the hard part and then i knew and i was elated and jumping and smiling and wondering why i had wasted uppers on what was turning out to be a good day but nothing, nothing, nothing could have been better until we were talking all the time and we were so close to each other that i i wanted to be closer to you and now i get to be hopefully soon, in another sintence.

spin your webs of words for me. your tripping words that flow so well together (i could never immitate). i fall in love inside of your letters, sometimes with you and sometimes with someone else but its love. while your roadways are turning into rivers and your realities into dreams i’m getting lost, deeper and deeper inside of you. who writes a new beat and crafts my love so strongly toward this, my living breathing, pre-addicted kerouac. you leave me longing for something more.

come find me pouring over your sentiments, here in nowhere. please please please. i’ll never stop loving you again.