I listened to Taking Back Sunday during the parts of my day when I was in a car. Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe it’s this looming sense of doom. I’m not sure. All I really know is that I feel all jumbled up in my brain and I feel this achy thing in my heart and I don’t know where it’s coming from or how to make it go away.
So I’ve realized that the trouble of letting myself wear yoga pants as real pants today is that they’re so comfy that I want to do it all the time now. But that’s alright because I’m having a very happy day. I am going to Manhattan tonight against the warnings of my horoscope. Though I’m not sure it’s actually what my horoscope is getting at, because, really, it could mean a whole lot of things. And I’m pretty excited about going, other than the part where I am already exhausted and I’m slightly nervous that I won’t be able to get in anywhere.
I’m also excited about my classes next semester. I’m taking a break from being a historian and only having 6 hours in history as opposed to the … man … 18 or so i’ve had over the last year? maybe more than that? either way. It’s time to get out. I’m exploring Art History (Ancient), Anthropology and Science and i couldn’t be any more excited about all of those classes. I’m really liking art history. I suppose I covered that earlier today, but it’s still the case.
Tomorrow, i’m having people over for Thanksgiving. It should be a pretty small group (5 or so? Maybe 8 when you add in my brother and neighbor who will be around)… I’m excited. I’ll be making vegan turkey and stuff that’s delicious like that. Uhm-num-yum. And there’s nothing more enjoyable than a holiday with people you love. And this is the best excuse I’ve ever thought up to do Thanksgiving two days in a row.
Maybe tomorrow night I’ll go into Lawrence or KC and see Short Bus. Fun.
Today has been a good day. I’m done with all my papers that were due yesterday or today (two of them). My paper on the Benin commemorative heads was pretty great, if I do say so myself. I used a whole lot of different sources in it because Mle said that she thinks Janzen grades it better if there are a lot of sources. Plus, there’s a lot of sources to use about Benin art because there were so many misconceptions about it… also African Arts did an issue in Summer of ’97 which was dedicated to the art pretty much because it was the 100 year anniversary of the Punitive Expedition when Britain discovered/stole all of it. Silly brits. It was a very strange issue because it felt like a celebratory issue. But it had lots of good articles and those help. I also found out today that I got an A on my latest art history test. Given that I was expecting a C after the ammount of work I put into study for it… I think I came out pretty well. I did mess up a lot of dates though. I got a -13 and -14 was the lowest A. So I suppose if I would’ve actually studies I could have gotten full points. Because I didn’t miss any points on analysis… I just missed points on the stuff you have to remember. Oi ugh. If I wanna do well on the GRE I’m gonna hafta learn to use flash cards. Fun.
I got a nano this weekend to get me through Ohio State and then to give/sell to my brother as a partial gift for all the shit he’s gone through once 6G iPods hit the shelfs. Whee. I sorta hate it. But I sorta love it. I named it Ferguson because it’s boring but technologically savvy… and cos I was tired when i was setting it up and iTunes was like “Please name the little fella you just connected to me” and i was like “alright… I Dub thee FERGUSON!” How cute. It’s very small and fits nicely in my pockets. And it carries more than enough music to keep me really satisfied. Mostly… it think i’m just creeped out by it’s smallness. Bizarro.
Tonight will be busy with going out. Tomorrow will be busy with cooking and visiting with friends. Thursday will be busy with family. and Friday-Sunday will be busy with paper writing. Here’s to staying as relaxed as possible through all of it. and here’s to yoga pants and comfy clothes on days when its so nice you don’t have to wear a jacket when you walk to the library from the car at 7:45 a.m.
Today i have been sort of sad. I don’t know quite why. Maybe because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Maybe because I had to go to the apartment to feed the cat and while I was there I just looked around and realized that maybe it will never feel like something other than home. I don’t know. I took a short nap with the cat who was happy to see me. Poor little guy doesn’t get why everyone’s leaving. And today it came to a head cos he had to wait to eat. But he lead me to the bowl right away and then ate for a while. He came and laid down with me when he was at the halfway point of his meal and we cuddled. I fell asleep and he pawed at my face; he kept his claws in. I found myself unsure whether to be really happy that he didn’t claw me or really angry at him because it shows that he knows what he’s doing when he does claw up the rest of my body. I decided to be happy that his little paws were cutely rubbing my face. What a good cat. He let me sleep and hold him after he ate the rest of his lunch. It was a nice nap. I woke feeling refreshed.
I’m going to Tanzania in the fall. I was looking at photographs and realizing all of the crazy animals that will be there. The internal dialogue I have is priceless sometimes… “Jess, this is a lion. It might be your next door neighbor.” How fun. But seriously. From beaches to mountains to grassy plains… Tanzania is where it’s at. And, for that matter, it’s where I’m going to be in less than a year. Crazy-talk.
Today, I was reading some of my old poetry. This is in part because I’m sorta sick and the last time I was sorta sick with this same thing I was writing in my livejournal. So i get to work and Courtney has a new entry in hers so I read it and then I comment on it and then I start reading my old poems on there. It was pretty decent. I really like rereading old poetry because it reminds me of who i was then. And it’s nice to reconnect with that girl. In a lot of ways, it’s like talking to an old friend who you know better than she knows herself. There’s something so comforting in it. Plus, it’s nice to read poetry and have it feel like it relates to something currently going on in my life. Or to read a poem about someone and think fondly of them. I think it’s perhaps the most pleasantly cathartic activity I can participate in.
I got weighed today at the doctor. I need desperately to lose weight.
Last night was pretty awesome. Andy was back in town so I figured a Friday-night trip to Pigskins was in order. Washburn’s debate tournament is this weekend and so all the debaters were already gathered. We went there for food and dollar draws of Coors. Which I refuse to order as anything other than “Currs”. Lol. I got nice and drunk and hung out with Big Poppa and all the debaters. Plus, Andy and Ryan showed up (as expected) and really liked my haircut/color.
There was awkwardness between Joe and I which I could’ve done without… but I think that we’ll be okay. It’s just figuring out what friends means that’s the difficult part we’re in right now. I’m glad though that he’s not just bailing on the friendship. And I hope he understands that I’m really sorry that I’m a bad friend.
I got a phone call from Jarred finally. Read: Effin finally. He hasn’t talked to me since Tuesday. Drunk Jarred gave several reasons for this: 1) I lost my phone; 2) I had my phone disabled; 3) I just wasn’t answering. I have a gut feeling that a combination of these is probably true. But still. It was a funny talk. He’s celebrating veterans day in Phoenix getting drunk and watching NASCAR. What an American.
I’d like to thank everyone for their support… I’m feeling much better. Tuesday-yesterday I was basically too busy to do anything but function like a well-oiled machine. I worked on my paper for prasch all night Tuesday and stopped by the democrats party for a smidge. Plus I got a nap in and was in bed by midnight. Awesome. Then on Wednesday I finished that paper and studied for art history all night. I had a thing at Dr. Farley’s where we talked about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan in little focus groups. It was a really nice dinner experieince, although I must say that a lot of people were more quiet than they should be. That’s just people I guess…
Tonight I’m going to dinner with Joe at chipotle and then I’m going to hang out with Kelsey till the Bearman speech on campus. Then I think I’m going to go home and get some much-needed sleep. Early to bed is the best. I’m so excited about it. This weekend is WU’s debate tournament. i’m not competing. I’m just inconvenienced by it. This sinus infection thing is just getting worse and worse and worse. Ugh. I got a Flonase prescription though. Awesome. I should go get that filled when I’m out with Joe.
