Category: Journal

This evening, while playing on boohbah.com, I learned that Asians are springier than Grandmas. What would the hybrid (Asian Grandma) be?

I made a playlist that sounds like fall.
It’s all Joanna Newsom, CocoRosie, Portishead, Norfolk&Western.
I know there’s nothing precisely fall about them,
but they’re too weird to listen to
as enjoyably
as when the whole world is dying.

I’ve been writing poetry again.

I’ve been pondering the relationship of Jason Schwartzman and Luke Wilson to each other and people in my life.

I spent my weekend writing a Morse paper and Leadership papers. I always mean to be a lot farther ahead than I actually am by this point in the semester, though I’m pretty impressed with how I’m managing life right now.

I got just drunk on Saturday. Daaaahrunk. Awesome. It was a pretty spectacular party.

Then! Jarred came home! And I got to see him! What a happy time. It was pretty fantastic to see him. I can’t really put it into words. I was in the best of moods all day.

Haunted house tonight? that sounds like the plan. Despite my love of being terrified I will probably not go. I’ve been too neurotic all day to go.

I was screened for major depression, bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder and ptsd. turns out i’m crazy. yipyip! all of the first three. though the questions are really vague and they really play off of each other poorly. it’s very scientologist-esque. except that it’s pro-psychology. that’s about the only difference.

tonight, i’m going to kansas city with Joe. then I’m coming home. at the rate that we’re moving i’ll prolly not even have any time to stay there for more than a few minutes because i really really want to be leaving kc by 9 so i can go and sleep at home and get a full night of sleep. uggh.

Morse says I need to cut things. She says I’m just sliding by with low As which makes her feel not very safe and that I’m limiting my potential. I agreed with her but said that incomes would be the things she would cut. So I don’t know what she wants me to do.

I’m frustrated.

You know, the kind of days that start out really beautiful and then take a turn for the worse before you get to blog about them. Actually, things never got that bad. I just got really stressed. So i’m going to pretend that work wasn’t crazy tonight and get to the part i’ve been wanting to blog about all day: identity.

I was thinking on my way to my car after getting my paychecks and then on my way home to see if my definitely-left-plugged-in hair straightener had burnt the place down or not. (It hadn’t). I was basically thinking about my iPod and how I wasn’t very good at getting it to last.fm to update before the end of Saturday so I always feel like my results are pretty innacurate. Then I was thinking about how silly it is that I care as much as I do about it. I don’t care that much, really, but basically I think it’s silly that I care at all. So then I was thinking about things like facebook and thought that we really identify ourselves by things like favorite movies and music and the like. I know I do. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it’s not too far from accurate. I mean, my favorite movies are The Squid and the Whale, the United States of Leland and the Royal Tennenbaums without a doubt. I think that says a lot about my personality, what I tend to get more emotionally stirred about, and my sense of humor. It also may reveal my crush on Anna Paquin and Jena Malone, I am not sure… but you know. It makes sense to me that I’d really like those movies. And music is pretty much the same way. Obviously, Ani makes a lot of sense for me to listen to… but I think that bands like Everclear and Lisa Loeb and Thursday or Moneen or Saves the Day really reveal a lot about not only who i was but also who I am now. And Keren Ann and Isobel Campbell do the same.

So the point of this is that maybe I’ll change my facebook to movies and music that say more about me.

Last night was a really, particularly great one. I’m so glad it happened. After I judged tiresome debate all day I came back and got Joe who thinks he did well on his LSAT and we went to the history dept picnic. It was pretty fantastic. We got to see cara and eat lots of delicious food including this peanut stuff that dr. du brought that was just absolutely yummy. it was awesome. Then there’s all the conversation. It’s weird how much fun hanging out and being intellectual can be with professors on a saturday night, but it’s always good conversations and all of them treat me like I’m just as intelligent and capable as they are which is a really good feeling. I never really expected to feel like I was in such a cooperative learning environment during my undergraduate degree. It makes me so excited to continue learning beyond the BA level.

Joe and I left Bearman’s seperately cos i was going to Manhattan for Janelle’s birthday party. I went and took her my gift which came out a lot less nice than I wanted. Next time I attempt that I’ll prolly do it a little differently… but anyway… so I got there and I got to see Jenna which was really nice and Schmeg too. The three of us talked for a while and then they left to find food and brian showed up. I talked to Brian and his friend Kyle for a little while and then sat down with Michael to see what he was doing. It was all good conversations everywhere and finally I got to spend some time with the birthday girl who was in the cutest dress. It was sweet. We all ended up in Janelle’s room just talking and then Amanda and I fell asleep on the floor. Haha. I slept for probably a half-hour and woke up at one, deciding I should maybe head home for the night.. especially cos I was so refreshed.

I took twenty-four to get home, listening to Neutral Milk Hotel the whole way. Oh my my. Nothing is as beautiful as that. I got home around 2:30 and slept till 10:30 which is the first time my body has intentionally slept this late in weeks and weeks. How marvelous.’

Ps. Someone tell my horoscope to fuck off, “Though the Capricorn Moon brings you into the world of responsibility, you may not accept this role willingly. You might feel conflict between doing what you are supposed to do and doing what you want to do. The more serious you feel, the more you are inclined to cut loose and skip out on your duties. If you think about it, you can take care of your chores now and then have time to do whatever you want to do later.”

Oi. Yesterday was nice and relaxing. I spent it with Joe. He was prepping for the LSAT and I was making Janelle’s birthday present. Plus, reading Heart of Darkness. Heart of Darkness is really good. I like it a whole lot, though I think doing it all through narrative is sort of an odd way to present the story. It’s all told through a story being told by someone. Sometimes, when they break the story and go back to the regular dialogue where the story is being told, it gets a little confusing. I’m not sure. I like it a lot though.

We saw Little Miss Sunshine yesterday too. It was pretty brilliantly hilarious. Everyone should see it.

Today begs the question: Jess, why is it that you’re incapable of getting anything accomplished?

My first art history test of the semester was today. Actually, it was basically the first test of any sort that I’ve had due so far. How fantastic. Anyway. I made flash cards for the test on the way to Wyoming because I was being marvelous and responsible. Then, at William Jewell, i got to a round and realized that I had lost half of the flash cards and needed to redo them. What bullshit, given that I didn’t have any time at all to redo them. Instead, I went to Lola’s yesterday morning and looked over the list and found that I could at least put a name to a painting pretty easily. Then, I went through the book and identified all of the paintings I needed to know by name. Then, I went through the book and wrote down the name and then re-wrote down the date and then came up with ways to memorize the dates. I did so well on the test this morning I think. I just feel really confident about it. I woke up 10 minutes before class (oops) because I reset my alarm this morning and then fell asleep on my phone but instead of panicking i was just like “well i probably have time to still get ready and go” so i got dressed and got in the car and went to class. I looked over some of the dates and then just took the exam. There were only a few dates I was unsure of and I think I was at least close. I’m so excited about doing well on this.. I was so nervous about the challenge.

Urgh. Grumble grumble curse growl growl… The good news is I’ll be uncomfortable in hot shoes tomorrow. Rawrh.