Author: Jess

salt lake city was a blast. i was a fucking ballot away from breaking and i went like 7-5. which sucks. i mean its good but its not good enough. i debated fairly well apparently though. and i’m almost 99% sure that the reason i dropped the 8th ballot that would’ve gauranteed a runoff round for me because i offended the judge. i said something along the lines of “civil disobedience gives the right wing ‘proof’ that the left wing is all a bunch of wackos.” and i was using it in the context of the same-sex marriage thing which is indeed a fueled-by-leftists movement and i also contend that the majority of civil disobedience is done by left wing people. but what-the-fuck. he didn’t need to drop my ballot just cos i misspoke once. in cross-examination no less. and besides that.. i did apologize for it multiple times and corrected myself (changed right wing to majority and left wing to minority). fuckers. i also believe i should’ve one first round hands down. but whatever. what can i do about that? goddammit. (this is me trying not to be bitter about what happened in high school).

maybe i’ll write about the touristy things later.

i find this to be an appropriate title for the entry as i need to address two issues. the first of which is that i finished reading the book sexual politics by kate millett today. it took me about 2 months cos i took a lot of long breaks… but i think it was worth it. it was really good and incited a revolution that already existed in me but still. i don’t really have much to say about it right now i guess. and i don’t really feel like talking about anything else. i’m sorry.

i got the newest Jay-Z album today. woh. it fucking rox0rz. really. it’s not like i’ve heard any of his other albums at all less the songs that they played on the radio when i listened to the radio… but this album is actually really good. i was afraid i’d just like 99 problems (which is still my favorite song on the album) but it has many close seconds. h00ray.

also, in my shopping adventure with steph i discovered a new outfit which was only 13 dollars (before tax.) it’s wonderful! its a little yellow skirt (emphasis on l i t t l e. but man. it’s all kinds of cute. it has zipper pockets along the side and it ties in the front and has two belt-loops that x (4 loops total i suppose plus the ones that are normal). its great. best part: size 7. my favorite part about boston: i got home and i’m not a size nine. second best part: $7.50. i (heart) cheapish clothes. (original price was probably around 39. because, you know, you’re buying so much fabric.) if jesse were here he’d comment that my vagina hangs out of it. lol. its okay though cos we both agree girls should wear more skirts like that.

in addition to the skirt… i got a salmony-pinkesque tank top that’s hella cute. and it looks cute with the skirt. and it was six dollars. actually, it was free because kohls is having a buy one get one free sale on certain items and steph’s shirt was 12 dollars but she couldn’t find anything else she liked so she let me pick out a shirt and we split the costs. h00rayness. now, i need to take my pink flip-flops to the carwash to spray the icky blackness out of the bottoms of them (i’ve heard it works).

after shopping i got to meet steph’s dad’s girlfriend and the hamster that belongs to stephanie j. who i used to know a long time ago but haven’t seen since she graduated. the hamster was awesome. it eats remote control buttons. although its not because its encouraged.

i also went to lexington to volunteer. which was fun enough. only about five ladies came to our tea which was beneficial as only two of the youth council people showed up. dammit. i hate it when they make me call these places and then no one comes and i look bad. that organization is so fucking unorganized. no wonder the damn mayor won’t give us any money. pfht. at least i had a good time. they tell such marvelous stories. clara is my favorite.

my parents took my brother, his friend jairo, and i out to dinner and a movie. we ate at coyote canyon. which means that i got to experience for the second day in a row the vast spoils of midwest americana. we also saw shrek 2. which was good for the second time.

i think i’m going to work on those boston photos. lol. also, i’m considering changing my voice message to a play on a jay-z song just cos i’m bored of the same old “hey this is jess leave me a message and i’ll call ya back”. how about “if you can’t get hold of me i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but taking your calls ain’t one”? lol. i think it would be absolutely amazing. but people wouldn’t believe they got my cellphone. mwah-haha.

for the record i would just like to point out the differences in my shoes and riley’s shoes. (so i editorialize a tiny bit but i swear they’re almost exactly like that.. also that the cheerleaders were forced to buy them in 7th/8th grade. if i were friends with any cheerleaders i would have them attest to that fact but last i knew there was still a ban on all things jess… a much appreciated one i might add.

i remembered what i really needed to blog about when i blogged earlier. (all 3 things). we’ll go in chronological order beginning with a: the loss of jarod.

jarod and i are not seeing each other right now because time did not allow us to see each other anyway. i haven’t seen the boy since last wednesday over lunch and to tell the truth next week is looking worse and then i’ll be in salt lake city and it seems that with his starting classes again on monday and both of our work schedules we’re just going to not be able to work. i’m a little sad about it because i’ve grown rather attached but i also think its probably for the best. i mean i’ve basically been in a relationship since 8th grade, despite the level of commitment i was willing to admit and i’m not really desiring to feel “tied down” right now. although the “Freer” i get the more i understand the 1984 concept FREEDOM IS SLAVERY.

now on to part b: the texas roadhouse.

today around 5ish josh and i went on a suggested date to the texas roadhouse (suggested shall be defined as: the tickets were part of a date package he won at prom but the only romance was in our mutual enjoyment of our surroundings). this restaurant is insane. in typical debate fashion i’ll go ahead and break it down into subheads that don’t exist in the real world.

little one: the peanuts. this place had peanuts everywhere, litterally. when you walked in the door there was a huge barrel (i’d say 40 gallons) that held peanuts. and you’re supposed to just walk in, eat them, and throw the shells on the floor. i don’t know why this is so but you definitely walk into a pile of peanut droppings. and i hate that part of peanuts (remember in 9th grade when kyle deshelled and deflakystuffed a pound of peanuts and i ate them in all of my classes along with a jar of derekjeter skippy peanut butter). so i was grossed out. then we walked to our table and i realized i was sliding all over the place due to the peanut shells. when we got to our table we were greeted by a bucket of peanuts. a bucket. tin. full of peanuts. again you take them from the bucket and throw the leftover parts on the floor. josh and i did not engage in such behavior but he did at one point throw a peanut onto the floor.

little two: rash patriotism. because we were first time visitors we were given an american flag for our bucket of peanuts. (need i say more?)

little three: the art. we were sitting under a painting of dwight d. eisenhower, kathleen sebelius, amelia earhart, and bob dole all playing poker… does it seem odd to anyone that they had sebelius gambling because it doesn’t me (insert story here: the other day i was driving and passed the young sebelius. he’s 19/20 and drives a cherry mazda miata. oh god. brian and i make fun of boys who drive mazda miata’s. its the only good side of the male female double standard). other art, pictures of ichabod sports and cheerleaders that are painted and a huge miller draft add with halfnaked girls in cowboy hats and they may have been riding a mechanical bull (or i may have been imaginging that).. i swear all i noticed was the blond chick’s freckly shoulders. and how cool that was. even freckly-shouldered girls get drunk and look hot in cowboy hats.

little four: the food. excellent. my steak bled.

little five: the line dancing. the waiters occasionally line dance. its amazing. truly.

i completely recommend this place. this is the kind of experience you would only get at a place called texas roadhouse. dont attend if you have a weak stomach.

this puts us at part c. the death of reagan.

i must admit i’m a little sad. i mean i didn’t like his presidency and its not like how i get when i think about when kennedy died but really, i’m a little sad. maybe its because he’s not taking reaganomics with him. ::glare::

okay. now i just have a general life question. Why is it that you only see people you don’t want to see after you’ve graduated high school? my god. some of them i didn’t even see when i was in high school and now i’m out and they’re around every corner. bitches.

how’s that for a fucking novel, dan?

i bought a rocking horse winner cd today. i needed something that sounded rilo kiley-esque and was only a few dollars. i also got new cheerleader shoes.. aka Trainers (sneakers to the non-brits). they’re wonderful converse and they’re not just like the cheerleaders shoes that riley owns but you know.. they’re close. so i feel all cheerleaderish. maybe its a disguise for me. because i like cheerleaders (that was me being sarcastic). shrug.

i need to write my LD cases now that i discovered NEG ground. w00t w00t. Neg Ground exists. this rocks. i better work on that.

i probably butchered the spelling of that but fuck it. i don’t speak german. and the world should just be happy i can pronounce it correctly. Boston rocked my face off. I had the most kickass time I’ve had in a while. I spent the majority of my time with my squad, Jesse/Amelia from E-town (plus Nick and Clay a little), and this John kid that i met from Pennsylvania. I also got to see the Silver Lake boys a lot. r0ck. we had a grand time and i’m so glad i know all of them. I’m being all sentimental but fuck it it’s my last damn tournament with some of them. although i will have the boys + Corey and all the other Flint Hills kids to keep me entertained in SLC. I’m so excited about SLC. It’ll be a grand time.

While I did exhaust myself to the point that I almost feel sick I also feel really refreshed. It was nice to be away from everyone. Not in a bad way. Just yeah. I needed to get out so I could collect myself. (of course i return to the same shit I left but you know.. there was really no escaping it was there?)

I’m so fucking tired of myself. i feel like i treat everyone so poorly. I really need to figure myself out and that doesn’t happen here (see also: in this life pattern, in this town, in this job, in this schedule, in this summer, in this house).

I’m sorry. But the Blog is all about the therapy. Look forward to new Boston pix in the photoLog.

well i’ve been graduated for almost two weeks now. well a week really. it seems like its all gone so fast. but honestly, it has. Lets discuss graduation: mom threw me a party on saturday and to tell the truth i was dreading it until it happened. i felt like it was all going to be about my mom cleaning the house and her prepping the food and her doing all of this work and inviting all of her friends, and i didn’t really think many of mine would show up. mostly because we never did formal little invitations. you know how that goes. as it turned out though, my really good friends were able to make it. i got to see amy, andrea, josh, lacey, madeline, alissa, ashley and some of my mom’s friends who i haven’t seen in years. ms. chamberlain was able to make it too and i had an amazing time. it was a great way to end high school.

sunday, i did the actual graduation thing. i gave my speech which included a few bad jokes regarding inside-school humor. ie, a judge in kansas ruled that all state public schools be shut down until the damn legislature fixed the budget. and no child left behind. i’ve gotten a lot of good feedback on my speech because a) it did not include a prayer and b) it was very jess-esque. it was a wonderful time and i was really happy about all of it. i only got a little teary during the ceremony and i’m just glad i had the chance to see all of my friends and graduate and stuff.

i spent most of last week just bumming and doing nothing. mostly because i didn’t have to do anything but work at the newspaper and i really support that. especially this week. i started at the elections office yesterday and so far we pretty much do nothing but alphabetize cancelled voters. and i’m not incredibly excited about who i work with either. like the main guy that i work by is really nice its just that there is no one near my age group. so sometimes i kinda feel like i’m just a dumb kid. but i know i’m not a dumb kid cos i mean its a good job and i got it so there must be something nice about me. lol.

i’ve been mopey and depressed the past few weeks. i think its a combo of being stressed about nationals, being a grown-up, and overworking myself. i just feel really lame. hopefully it’ll get better. i felt okay today until i noticed that the capital journal did a fucking story on the damn t-high and silver lake forensicators when i took 4th & 1st in state IX and debate. and for that matter, they should’ve mentioned megan too because she’s my hero times ten. fuckers.

that’s all for now. i’ll be in boston from thursday till monday but i might try to blog before i get out. we’ll see. love the new layout.