Category: Journal

i have the flu and i’m in oregon for npda. i’ve medicated myself well enough to compete today but my brain seems to be a bit foggy so we’ll see how well it actually goes. and i think my voice is basically gone at this point. but i’ts not so bad because all i feel that i have to overcome is my illness and hopefully i’m doing that alright. i actually think that my flu has spilled over into a sinus infection which is fine because those are easy enough to cure that because i do that a lot. pray that i keep my voice all day.

The UAE is mostly great. I suppose I’ll update this better later when I have my handwritten journal and I can just copy what I thought at the time. Who knows though… i’m still waybackdated on Poland.

I’m very depressed today. I wrote a poem about it. I think it’s lack of really sweet emails to make me feel really happy and very missed at home. Who knows.

I wish I didn’t need medicine to function like a human being. This is also what the poem was about.

Someone please remind me to take my medicine when we land in Frankfurt so I’ll be back on American time. And I would really love some Lipton Rasberry Lipton tea as well.

I really feel like I’ve grown up a lot on this trip. I think I’m more emotionally balanced and more mature about my decision making process. I also think I’ve gotten really grounded in terms of what I want to do in the community and how I think my life should look. I’m very excited, all-in-all, to return to Topeka and try to enact some of my big dreams. It should be great.

I think that also my opinion on Western Feminism has changed a lot. In the end, I think that Western Feminism is just as paternalistic as everything else western. I mean, really. We act like giving someone “These rights” liberates them when really they just then become enslaved to us. Or oppressed by us. Man, we’ve gotta figure cultures out before we decide what they need and what they want. And I think that Women’s History scholarship fundamentally lies in judgemental realm of what female rights should have been int hose times. I mean, clearly, men should not be able to beat their husbands but if a woman is secluded and men are in power it does not necessarily mean that that woman is oppressed if she chooses to be secluded. And further, women have the power to remove themselves from the situation if they work together. And the women GET that over here. To them, to all of them, it’s just a matter of the women here supporting each other. I think they know that they could start a revolution, but they just don’t because they’re alright with it. Even in Al-Ain which is a more traditional arabic city, we were able to talk to the women at the museum and they asked where we were from and then why we were here and we said that we attended the Women as Global Leaders conference in Abu Dhabi and they were like “Oh yes” and smiled at us. and seemed genuinely happy that the conference was going on. I’ve learned so much about myself and about the nature of women and the importance of bonding here that it’s just surreal.

I love it. Peace be on you.

hahahah I am in the airport and I am leaving for abu dhabi in about a half hour i am so excited. have a nice day everyone. don’t get caught up in missing me too badly.

My major luggage is packed. This is what it contains.

1) red and black sarong with black sweater and black cami or white longsleeve t with white cami (march 11)

2) green skirt with purple florally buttondown (march 12)

3) brown skirt with my yellow buttondown (march 13)

4) black old navy floral skirt i forgot i had with white buttondown (march 14)

5) gray mossimo skirt (extra)

6) gap skirt with that shirt joe got me (march 16)

7) hippie skirt with tie-on sweater and multicolored cami (march 15)

I also have a slew of underwear some different bras and pjs. I plan on taking my kimono for fun of all sorts and because it’s cool and yet covers me up. (Note! The Japanese are very ingenius.)

I purchased a watch today. Only 18.75 at the Buckle because it was 50% off and all things in store that were 50% off were an additional 50% off (Confusing sale, yes?) so it was a cheap watch. In fact I paid less than the one I almost settled for figuring that the Buckle would be too expensive. I’m excited about it. It’s a “woman’s sport watch” by Fossil and it’s got a blue face. i deperately need to get a few links taken out of it. this girl has a tiny wrist.

I’ve got the book cutlist settled for the week as well. Ready: here goes. History of Kabbalah. Vonnegut, Sirens of Titan. Palahniuk, Diary. Nersesian, Unlubricated. and that Double-Entry book Joe wants me to read. I am supposed to call it something else because Double Entry sounds dirty. Of course it does.

I’ll also be toting a Bible and a Little Black Book devotional that St. Elizabeth’s put out for Lent. Oh whee. It should be a grand trip.

Ps. My research came together in what appears to be a splendid way. I still need to put the powerpoint together. I love being me right now. I have such an exciting week ahead.

it feels good to be blessed.

this morning we had the priest at st. elizabeth’s bless me and we told him about my trip. i also got a little black book devotional (i think it even calls itself that) it should be a grand accompaniment for the trip. i just need to remember that i am shrouded in peace.

washington days was last night and vic got joe and i a ticket, one of which was free and the other of which was paid for by my mom. it was great. we got all dressed up snazzy in my favorite three dollar dress and went out. i was pretty excited cos i felt really pretty and got to go and socialize with important people or something. i guess they’re important. my view of kansas politics has always been really skewed because i only maintain a certain belief that i’ll even be around kansas to run for legislature and stuff. otherwise it just seems like a pretty bogus goal. but who knows? barack obama gave the address at the banquet and he’s a really great speaker. just all kinds of motivational and the exact rebuttal (as joe put it) that the republicans need to hear. so we hope he runs for president or at least some highly publicized spot, but i’m pretty sure he’s gearing up for a presidential run, which is what i’ve heard at least. it’d be pretty stellar. people love to vote for people who got big in states but were not in the us congress. probably because we hate the us congress and just figure it’s not out senator or congressional respresentative that is fucking it up for the rest of us. HOW DUMB WE ARE! Anyway, it was a great event and I got to see a lot of people, friends, i don’t usually get to see or hang out with and I’m pretty excited for the Sebelius campaign and the morrison campaign. it’ll hopefully be a good run for the both of them and phill kiline can be knocked out of office. we can only hope. for the good of the law.

aaahhh… and i also went to a meeting about my UAE trip yesterday. brilliance! i am so effing excited. the more emails i get from the actual conference and everything, the more excited i get about getting to go. and i’m not even dreading the flights much now, nor am i that worried about the nationals and what they’ll think of this silly american girl who refuses to be over-domesticated. even though maybe i already am. but who is to say, really?

it’s joe’s birthday today. he’s going to the casino with his dad and older sister and perhaps tom and rachel so i don’t know what i’m doing in kc tonight. scott just left for morocco so all the people i know in kc have dried up completely. i hope he is having a nice time and doesn’t have any glitches on the trip. glitches suck. but i suppose he’ll still be in language emersion for quite some time.

spring break, morse test, here i come. SUCKER.

i’m sorta freaking out about this trip now. i’ve hit pre-trip panic mode and it’s not nearly as rad as poland where i only had plans to pack the day before. now i have all of these crazy thigns which have to happen. i’ve been making lists of things which need to happen and sometimes the list include things like “make another list” lol fantastic. luckily, emily is letting me borrow some books for the flight and i’m getting sme great recommendations for music to take. whee. it should be a blast when it actually happens but until then i’m going to keep freaking out about being ready for it.

oh man, lucas kansas was amazing, as usual. i think i’d love to retire out there because it’s a fantastic place. it’s like one of my favorite places ever i think. stephanie ended up going with roger and joe and i which was effing fantastic because i never get to see her as much as i would like to and its good to spend multiple times with her in one weekend. plus i think that joe really got to know her which is cool. cos good friends are worth keeping around.

the grassroots art museum was so sweet. they had lots of art designed by people not trained in arts and then some out-there artists who are just really sweet even though they’re trained in art. perhaps its even a talent i could find inside of myself. maybe. haha.

what a wonderful day. pictures to come. a lot of them of kitties because everyone knows that cats love roger (and fusion sucks).

the title isn’t even true about tom waits. i went to caitlin’s birthday party at cari-caitlin-stephanies tonight. it was an awesome time. i really need to be better friends with those girls. i hate how i hold grudges and they make it really difficult to get past things, because like seriously. nothing really matters anyway.

it looks like we’re following through on our crazy road trip idea, again. this time we’re planning on lucas but who knows where we we will end up. probably just lucas. i’ve got friends in hays, salina and manhattan though so the trip could be worth investigating alternative routes for or at the very least stopping for a dinner with brian and company and a lunch with clayton and company. it’s all gotta be organized on the fly though because that’s how we roll.

we also kidnapped roger which means the pictures will probably all be vertical panoramics now because he is very tall.

i’m going to caitlin’s party tonight and i’m kinds of excited about it because i haven’t seen cari and kim and those kids in ages and seeing stephanie is always worthwhile. here’s too good reactions for soda pop and mood stabilizers combined with potentially upsetting situations.