Category: Journal

last night was a really great night. i went to see another roadside attraction play at the trap and despite the fact that i have a really sore foot because of that hole that i put in it, i had an awesome time. i started out by standing and half-dancing then I opted for a chair because my foot started to hurt but after I had to leave to take a phone call I went back in and decided that my foot was not going to ruin my night so I danced anyway. They have to be the best band to dance to, as well. w00t. Sam was there, she was also at Travis’ party, but it was nice seeing her and stuff because we got to talk and I think i’m going to get better about everything. I just feel a lot like we’re a game of Pong because we bounce balls (read: boys, no go ahead and read it balls) back and forth between us and yet the paddles never touch. But we danced some and talked some and it was cool. I can’t really blame anyone I date for being attracted to both of us because we are pretty similar in a variety of ways. SEXUAL SELF ACTUALIZATION RULES!

After ARA, I went out to Tommy’s with Trevor and Michelle. I hung out with them a lot at Travis’s and that was fun cos I haven’t really hung out with them since Trevor and I went to high school and Michelle and I lived next to each other. Even when she lived by me it was only once because we were pretty different then. (I wish I hadn’t been so fucking insecure through all of high school, man, I bet I would’ve had a blast.) So Tommy’s was good. I hadn’t really seen him since we “broke up” from the time we were “dating” and I think I revised a lot of the history between us in my head. I know I didn’t love him, I mean, I never ever thought that I did. But I think that I’d convinced myself that things were really bad between us for the last two years or so because they had to be. And I realize now that it’s just that neither of us did anything to make them better. He talked a lot at the party about how and why he doesn’t do any drugs and helped me understand Joe’s position on drugs a lot. Because lately Joe’s been upset about my using whatever drugs I happen to use and trying to put his foot down about what I do and don’t do. And it makes me really rebellious because I look at it as him being overly paternalistic or not trusting my own decisions. I think I figured out when talking to Tommy that isn’t exactly the case. A lot of it, I believe, has to do with the reasons he chooses not to do them. It’s kind of like how I don’t eat meat. Like I see all of these things that are really bad about meat and I get so convinced in my convictions that I don’t want other people to do it either because I would be letting myself down if I did it. And I suppose that’s probably how he is about drug use and it makes some sense. They’re not for everyone, for sure. And I really respect that he doesn’t do them at all but it’s just not a personal choice that I will make/have made yet. To be honest though, there are times when I think that other people are making bad decisions concerning drugs and their life and times when I feel like I am too. And I always stop. But I’m going to think again about the reasons why I do them and consider what I want to do. My problem is that most of the reason why I want to do them is that they are hella fun. So I have to watch myself and lay off. The last full week of June for instance, whoa, stoned a lot. Then I start to see bad sober side effects so I conciously decided to do them less. Ah.. So off topic. I guess my point is that last night I realized that I miss hanging out with Tommy a lot because we were really good friends and always got along and stuff. So maybe we can start hanging out again now? I hope so.

I made Chipotle burritos for Mom-Duck and I. They were delicious, and not to difficult. And I’m pretty sure I made enough burrito to feed my family for the cost of one or two veg burritos there. Take that McDonald’s-owned fucking AWESOME Burrito Joints!

AND tonight!! I get to see the Get Up Kids at their break-up concert!!! Sadness about the breaking-up but FUCK YAH! THE GET UP KIDS OWN!

apparently my foot injury is NOT life threatening. I told them I’m going to Poland though so they gave me a super-antibiotic which is good because its an excuse to take all of that acidopholus i have. Acidopholus is one of my favorite things you can get in pill form from akins, or maybe at all. This is simply because it sounds like a city name but like a CITY OF ACID! Awesome!

Another Roadside Attraction plays the Trap with the Tuna Helpers tonight. Be there or be non-mechanical! All the robots are going!

Robot is the new gay.

I went to a party last night at travis’s in lawrence with emily, dan, and howard and had a great time. Although, Howard was our ride and he left after about a half hour so that seemed a little dangerous. emily ran around and made sure we had a ride home though so it was set that we would sleep at Brandon and Cecily’s and then go home with Josh the next day (today). I spent most of the time hanging out with Trevor and Michelle. I was outside a lot and Trevor asked if I’d go in to dance with him and I said yes, not knowing this would be the doom of my foot.

I cut my foot because I danced onto some glass at an angle capable of detaching a chunk of skin from the body that exists on the arch of my foot. This happened in full because I was barefoot. I was barefoot because I was wearing my fake-crocs I found in the Wal-Mart parking lot and they have no traction so I slipped outside once because of the water and cut my shoulder. At this point, I was promptly like “F*** THAT NOISE!” and took the shoes off in the house where I was going to dance with Trevor. Trevor and I danced happily for a while and then I felt a really ridiculous pain in my foot and knew I had been cut. I went over to Low-Rider couch at T-rav’s and looked at the damage. It was bad. I put my hand under my foot to catch the blood. Then, Michelle came over and was like “Whoa!” We should put a bandaid on that!” And walked me to the kitchen where she got some bandaids and gave me wet paper towel to try to clean up my foot. Oi. There was blood everywhere. I got it cleaned up as good as I could and put the bandaids on it and then I went back to the party-part of the house and told people what had happened. Rachel, who is one of the people who lives at the house, asked if I needed neosporin and I got really happy because I knew that I did and I was also worried about infection because even now, I’m pretty sure that I should have gone to the hospital last night. So I neosporined the wound and reapplied the old bandaids (Curad rocks!). Then I went back to the party.

We left a little while later after a really hilarious fight about whether Bridget’s sweater actually belonged to Emily or not. I hope that emily retells this story because it is a good one.

I have a doctor’s appointment in 2 hours to get my foot checked. also, my dad warns me that the Police are cracking down on speeding and not to go more than the speed limit because anything over 5 miles get’s a ticket now. Dooooooooouchebags.

Does anyone wanna cure my hangover?

This weekend I went to a party at Cara’s for her birthday that was tons of fun. I just posted the pictures from it on the new image site. Championless probably won’t link out correctly until the next layout except from the above link but it’ll be a good addition to the site to have an actual photo organizer, I think.

I kind of don’t have anything to blog about. Sadness.

i feel pretty stressed out still this week mostly about everything but its calming down. this is what i have to do in the next week:

1. meet with wasserstein, mcquere, and peterson
2. finish app for great britain
3. write resume
4. find a second letter of recommendation
5. plan exact trip specifications for Polska
6. learn to pronounce Polish to the best of my ability which will be poor
7. attend party at andy’s
8. schedule july 4 festivities
9. meet with elder sellers
10. finish speeches
11. get speeches to jim

UGH!

my mom told me yesterday that my figure is really getting good and that i should keep doing whatever i’ve been doing. i told her that i’ve been starving myself. not because i have been (mostly.. its hard to eat veg around here sometimes…) but just because i want to keep up my trend of suggesting that her comments about my weight give me an eating disorder. still though, it was good to hear this from her. i fit well into this dress that i’ve had for like 4 years yesterday as well. usually i wear a tshirt over it but yesterday i put it on and i looked all nice and tanned in it (because i am, yay lakes!) and wore it for the day. i fill it out in the right ways now. lol. i did wear a tshirt over it to work but still it was nice because i was afraid mom would say i looked bad in it and she said the opposite and i kinda felt good about my body.

it’s great to be acting like its summer again. staying out all night and being tan and my hair is starting to bleach in the sun which is really fun. it’s slightly lighter to the noticing eye, but its mostly just got a lot of color depth to it and isn’t all mousy like it is in the winter. plus i love my haircut. getting my passport and remembering thinking the picture on it were good and then seeing them and being like “whoa, no hair volume” made me realize this. it’s an awesome haircut and i can wear it in an upside down half pony tail again which is really stellar because it looks kinda pretty with all of my curls like spilling out onto the crown of my head.

todays was an entry of vanity. i wonder if there is new asofterworld. expect a blog on my identity soon.

i got my passport in the mail today! i also reserved my room at the bling bling youth hostel so it appears that i really am actually going to poland!

oh! and im going to the UK in the fall for a few months! Awesome!

i was thinking just now about the phrase “Peace Be With You” as part of a church service and realizing why it’s usually my least favorite part. I get that the point of it is to like express fellowship and stuff with the other people in the church and its supposed to let you feel a sense of peace knowing this, but this, my friends, is not what i get out of it. instead i just feel really anxious and wish people would quit touching me. and i was curious as to why this is. but i realized it today. basically i think no one is actually wishing you peace, they’re just saying this as part of the bizarre ritual of insincere peace-wishing. the first time i tripped mushrooms, i had a talk with pat and ush about how much better the world would be if when you said “peace” to someone you actually meant it. and here i am like 8 months later, not really wishing peace to these people. it would be my guess (though due to a general failure to interpret the Bible it could be something else) that the reason for this part of church is to recreate when Christ said it to His disciples and they knew He was as they said. so dude. let’s go back to that. Peace.

I think that I should start capitalizing more of my sentences. I’ve noticed that this seems to be a trend in various aspects of my life and it is probably for the best.

I had a great day today. I woke up at 9 and started working on speech writing! w00t! This was really great given that I woke up completely naturally and didn’t have any real trouble staying awake at 9 am. Usually, I’ve noticed, I like to fall back to sleep for around an hour but this has apparently changed.

Also, I learned last night that my passport has been in the mail since Saturday which means I should get it virtually any time. Awesome! I can’t wait to have it. I think its kind of a big deal and represents more than just a little book to me. It’s proof in a lot of ways that I’m growing up. In part because I know that my parents have never had a passport or left the country and I get to, but also because Poland is a trip completely orchestrated by my own doings and so completely exciting. I can’t wait to go. And I love that a trip to Poland that was basically decided upon by a series of whims (I wanna go abroad, oh hey CIEE looks good, whoa the deadline is march 15, MOM! I’m going to do this trip thing!, I’ll go CR because CR rocks, CR doesn’t rock on the right dates? Awesome. Poland rocks harder.) and I think that it will. It’ll be really cool because I expect to have a really great experience and I’m so excited about all of it. Including flying for 9 hours because I am a freak. And also because I really like airplanes and long road trips and 9 hours has to be a blast. Besides, if it turns out that it sucks there’s always alcohol. Lol.

Yesterday, Stephanie took me out to get a pedicure and I am forever indebted to her for it. It was exactly what I needed to help calm me down about everything that’s going on in my life. I just feel really out of whack a lot of the time and it was good to just get a nice foot massage and toe-nail painting that day. So Thanks Steph, you rock.

Today I met Annaleigh at WU so that I could print things for free in the Comm office (not having a computer that works well enough to print or the disk to install the printer on the functioning computer sucks!). Then we went to the lake and swam for a few hours. I’m a little sunburned and tired from all of the sun but it was still great. Then we went back to WU and stalked Kev for some tape. Heh. We knew he was around and expected to return for a 5:30 class so instead of waiting for him outside the Comm Department door we decided to go ahead and be “totally creepy” and we went downstairs to find a course schedule for the summer to figure out what classroom he would be going to in case he was there already. We couldn’t find the paper ones so we used the handy-dandy internet to look up the O’Leary Comm courses available on Wed at 5:30. Turns out it was in MO268 so we could’ve stayed upstairs. Alas! As we were returning to our perch by the office we noticed Kevin walking in so we hid from him behind a corner and we giggled awkwardly because at this point we were just being bizarre. We waited until he had stopped climbing stairs and then tiptoed to the staircase and climbed up it. Annaleigh peeked around the corner and saw that he was already in the office so we ran by it and knocked. He opened the door. We stood their mostly shocked because we finally found him and then made our way to the looting of the tape. Going to the lake with Annaleigh? The worst that could happen is ADVENTURES!

i got the most amazing news today! my passport should be in the mail by monday or tuesday! whee! yay USFG for not fucking this one up!