i’ve got a couple of hairs of yours still lingering round in my bathroom – davis
i finished the newest layout and i’m extremely proud of it. its not completely done yet. i still want to add tutorials and some other things to the menu but hell. its up. and that’s what i care about right now. hooray for it.
i’ll probably plug it at riotmb as soon as i get button links from the owners of the sites i’m linking.
my new years resolution is 1024×768.
she waves her middle finger high and kisses everyone goodbye, they’re never gonna mess with her again sugarcult.
f there was a list your name would be crossed out a zillion times and i think that this time i’m not writing it in again.
i have to go to school today. and i hate school. i do not want to go. but it is my last semester of high school. at least.
today is my last day of break which really blows. i’m not going to be ready to go back to school tomorrow. in fact i probably won’t be awake at all during the day cos i doubt i’ll get much sleep tonight. suck. and i work till 11:30 tomorrow. oh well. its alright.
i’m not up to much right now. i had scholars bowl today and we took 5th which isn’t good but i had an alright time with everyone. brittany is a lot of fun. and i got to see greg/brian. the greg part was alright. but seeing brian was weird cos he was flirting with another girl and i’m still so jealous all the time. which is crap. cos . i don’t know. i didn’t think i cared still. i’m just too damn possessive. i guess. psh.
thomas and i are working on setting boundaries for not dating. i’m afraid it will make this break more of a schism and therefore permanent. but i guess it makes more sense than no boundaries at all. i don’t know.
“Another time Billy heard Rosewater say to a psychiatrist, ‘I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren’t going to want to go on living.'” – vonnegut, slaughterhouse five
Thomas and I are “on a break” because i can’t get over madeline at all. i don’t really know what to say about it. i’ve spoken with erik about it and he agrees that because of how i’m feeling its probably the right thing to do. but i feel really terrible about it. i honestly didn’t think that it was too soon but i guess it was because now i’m dealing with all of this crap about it. i don’t know. i wish i would feel better about it. like i knew that it would be okay or anything really. i’m just so damn sad all the time anymore. and i compare him to her all the time and that’s unfair to all of us. i need to figure out what the hell is wrong with me before i go forcing my problems on another person. i really truly loathe myself right now. i ruin everything i touch.
i’m not really doing anything right now. although i am at work. i plan to read a little bit later and try to schedule next semester but that will never happen as well as i would like it too.. bah. i’m working on a new layout and as always have really lost interest in blogging until that layout is done. garh. i’m tired of this one :-/ i was supposed to hang out with madeline today but she didn’t answer when i called and marshall said she was gone so i didn’t get to.. i ended up spending most of my afternoon with brian and then going home for a bit until i headed to work. i took some pics with elise (the digital camera) and my eyes were green-pretty. it was fun. i had a pretty nice day. all in all.
lots of things felt weird today. it feels weird that i graduate from high school this year. i’ve been waiting for this year forever you know. and its like it actually has some significance..
its weird that when i move away for college it will probably be the last time i live in this city. i thought of that today. it isn’t like i’m just leaving for a while.. its not in my plans at all to move back. ever. how crazy does that sound? yikes. oh well though i guess. change is for the best.
new years eve was spent with lacey/ali/carolin/alisha and lacey’s family and one of her brothers’ friends. it was fun. we watched most of playing by heart, watched the ball drop, drank sparkling cider, and played cranium. not in that order. it was nice to talk and the food was amazing.. drew is the rockinest cook around. mmmm. tonight was kind of like july 4. it was just nice to be with my friends. and to show that we can have a good time without alcohol. i love it when our plans are great and fall together in the course of a few minutes the day of a holiday. i wouldn’t have changed anything about tonight.
thomas called from his bible-festival today. i was kinda out of it at the time so we didn’t get to talk much but he said he’d probably call back. and then he didn’t. and he didn’t call this morning. and i don’t know. i didn’t really expect him to call much or at all this week but he keeps saying he will and then not calling and it worries me.. and then i get upset. and i hate that. growl. especially tonight. cos it isn’t a safe night to be on the roads and its never a safe night to be in johnson county and what if he was in a terrible accident or something? and i won’t sleep right either because of it. and it sucks. i hate it when people do this.
jarred also called and said that he wanted someone to party with. he told me he’d bring me a thimble of whiskey to get me drunk :-/ haha. asshole.
i hung out with jarod yesterday (other jarod.) and we watched the movie kids. that movie is messed up. seriously. it was really good though. it was just crazy.. yikes. it was nice to spend time with him though. i’d forgotten how fun and natural being around him feels. and its nice to have someone i can just talk to about the stupid things i get all upset about and he understands… oh.. and he took my scarf that i was using as a belt and tied me up on his bed. hehehe. it was fabulous.. i asked “hows it look?” and he said “like you’re tied up on my bed.” heheh. good fun.
battle of the bands was also alright. i talked to janelle and brittany and that was less awkward that i thought it might be.. i don’t know. janelle is a pretty cool girl and i don’t think i’ve ever had a problem with her.. other than my own jealousy. and i’ve been over that for quite some time. i got to talk to alissa too and that was fun. we talked about books! and we’re both reading Vonnegut right now. r0ck.
i need sleep. really badly.
i smell like victoria’s secret lotion. arugh. cursed slow computer.. it gets me bored with waiting so i do things like shave my legs and put on lotion and now my eyes are all stingy cos i’m like “aurhg the smell!!!” psh.
i went out with jarred yesterday and that was nice. we never really do anything but its still a good time. yay.
i got a new coat at the store today when i did my returns. its cute. i’ll post a picture of it sometime maybe.. its like brown RECTANGLES! of faux leather put together with white wool and its wool lined. its very fun and warm and stylish! haha.
tomorrow i have some random shit to do and then i’m hanging out with jarod (the other one) i’m hella excited. how long has it been since i’ve seen him? way too long. and i love him to bits.
i saw rachel at the store today :-/ it was nice to talk to her because i haven’t in a while but i cried afterwards because its weird that she wasn’t with michelle.. not that i haven’t seen her around without michelle but like.. i don’t know. they were counterparts. its so hard…
well. i’m at work now and i left my book at home. which sucks pretty bad because i would have really liked to have it here as there are no sports and thus nothing to do at work tonight. and worst of all: i’m here about 15 minutes early because the wedding rehearsal started and i didn’t see any need to stick around for that when i could make an extra x cents for the night. psh.
christmas was well.. i got everything that i wanted (some skirts for church, the digital camera, and a wet/dry razor). its all very cool. the cam only has 16 meg internal memory though so its in desperate need of an sd card. they didn’t have any 64 meg ones at the store today though. perhaps i could go out and get the 32 meg one and then insist on a 64 for mah birthday.. i think i want 256 for my birthday though. 🙂 too bad they don’t ahve usbmemory-sd watches that i could buy. that would rock.
the skirts are cute. i think i’m going to see if i can find a different one that i really want at the store though… because it kinda comes up a little too high at both the waste and the knee. if i could wear it at the hips instead of the waist it would be perfect. too bad.. the other one is gray and has two lace pleats that are fun. it goes just below my knee or a little closer to my ankle… i’m not sure.. i tried it on last week and then told mom she should buy it for me. i’m sure it’ll get worn a lot though. i need a shirt to match it…
the razor rocks. i can shave my legs in any conditions (wet or dry!) and there isn’t razor burn. its not an incredibly close shave yet though (the box said about 3 weeks before that will happen) but really any shave at all is closer than usual for me. haha. its really nice though and i’m keeping my legs smooth and using lotion. hooray.
that’s all of the major news that i have to report… i hung out with jarred twice last week. that was fun. he’s a cool kid and i’ve missed him a whole lot. cos we haven’t really done anything since last february.. shrug. but i had a good time last weekend and i think we’ll keep hanging out for a while. at least i hope so.
i got a 1310 on my SATs. i wanted a 1330 or better. psh. 640 math 670 verbal. which is strange cos i really thought math would be higher. blast.
and thomas, you do not run google. i’m sorry to break it to you.
